B.S. FROM J.E.

So This Is What Retirement Is All About

2009-03-20T01:47:00.040-04:00

Since I retired a couple of months ago, it finally hit me why Debbie insisted all these years I learn her method of making a bed, dusting, vacuuming, putting in fabric softener into the washer, folding laundry a certain way and all the things that she did which I basically took for granted. It was now my turn to take those duties over. Not what I had planned to do while I was trying to figure out what retirement was all about. Her thirty five year plan was now starting to pay off. Even when I was working, I believed in helping around the house. My thought was that I lived there also, and it wasn't fair to her to have to do all of the housework or cook nightly dinners while I sat on my ass and watched t.v. I jumped in and tried to help out the best I could so she could also have her down time. It never occurred to me that once I retired I was going to be a 'House Husband', doing pretty much everything. Believe me, I don't mind doing it, because she gets up early to teach the Three R's.......Raping, Robbery and Rehilbitation to the future inmates of Jackson Prison. I'm actually happy that she can come home after teaching to a clean home with dinner on the stove. But, there's gotta more to retirement than this crap.

Since my back injury, I have had to make some major life adjustments and cut out several things I really enjoy doing, or at least limit them. At times when the pain was tolorable, I thought that I could go right back to doing it 100% like before, but would end up in more pain than ever. What once would take me maybe an hour to do, was now easily taking me a day or longer to accomplish, with a nap or two thrown in. Until recently, I used to get upset about this, but with the help of my new Sports Psychologist, I have come to crips with the knowledge that due to this injury, I'm going to have to pace myself on most things and this is now how I have to live my life. So, I've decided to find some new hobbies to occcupy my time.

When we had the tornado come through our area last year wiping out 99% of our landscaping, I thought that I would really enjoy growing flowers and plants from seed. It also could have been because Debbie went back out and purchased about $500 worth of plants to replace what was destroyed, so it looked like we did have some plant life for my 60th birthday party. Since I won't be able to purchase a greenhouse this year, I thought I would jump right in with both feet and start growing some plant life in the basement. With the help of The Greenhouse Gardener's Companion which Joe and Mona bought me for my birthday, and The Complete Book of Plant Propagation, a Christmas gift from Deb, I was in plant heaven and counting the days until the last frost date in Michigan, which by the way is May 31st if anyone is interested.

I turned an old vanity I had in the basement into a propagation bench and purchased grow lights, trays and medium for the seed. I rigged up a lighting frame out of conduit to hold the four full spectrum lights, and it can also be utilized to hold an upper shelf if I want to add more seed trays and lights. Yeah, I have visions of being called to appear on HGTV, but first I had to plant the seeds.
I left the plant selection in Deb's capable hands, and she returned one day with a varity of plant seeds, Sanpdragons, Hollyhock, Purple Coneflower, Cosmos, Bachelor Button and Coleus, just to name a few varities. She also purchased tomato seeds and Sun Flower seeds to run a boarder along the driveway (maybe).

After reading the correct method of soil moistness and enrichments, I started planting the Sun Flower seeds. I had read that Sun Flowers do not like to be transplanted, so I had to purchase some bio-degradable pots to put directly into the ground after the fear of frost had ended.

Taking a break if you can call cooking dinner for Debbie while she knitted a break, Jennifer called and ask what I was doing. I told her I was planting my flower seeds and she informed me that I turning into a Girly Man and needed to find a more manly hobby. I told her that there was nothing faggish about a man gardening and she said, "Dad, you used to own a bakery also." I didn't know that baking wasn't a manly thing to do either.

So call me names, I don't care. She just cut herself out of getting one of my Terra Cotta saucer and pot water feature with plants that her Old Man grew himself. Guess what Jennifer???? I'm going to teach my new grandson the art of growing flowers and baking.

Horticulturely speaking,

Me

A Day At Central Michigan University

2008-10-19T19:15:00.017-04:00

I'd been checking the weather all week long hoping that Saturday would turn out to be a nice day for our fall outing to Mt. Pleasant for the Central Michigan/Western Michigan football game. It turned out to be in the high 50's, low 60's and perfect for a day of football. Becky, Rick, Debbie and I rode to Mt. Pleasant together and were meeting up with Steve, Stacey, Mark and Libby at the South End of the stadium. Niece Jamie and her friend Andrew already had their tickets and were on their way. The stadium seated roughly 37,000 people, not exactly Spartan Stadium, but a typical size stadium for a school of that student size. Our seats were on on the 49 yard line and I was sitting in front of Deb and used her knees as a back rest until she realized it and kept kneeing me. Jamie, our youngest niece, who is actually the youngest of all the nieces and one nephew is considering going to CMU, so it was kind of a dual trip for her.

We all met up as scheduled and entered the stadium. I hadn't been to a college game with Debbie since she was a college student at Western and we were there with the rest of the clan to cheer on the Bronco's, with the exception of Mark who was a CMU grad and rooted for his team, which won by the way. Both sides of the stadium were packed and with about 2:30 left before the half, I headed up to the concession stand for a Pepsi and a dog, only to find the lines extremely long. But what the hell, I beat most everyone else up here.
Now, I don't find this hard to believe, but some jealous people in our group questioned it. I don't have reason to lie or make myself look good, but as I was standing in the concession line, a young blonde lass came up to me, gave me a loving kiss on the cheek and said, "Hi, Mr. Johnson, I didn't know you were here." I looked this young thing up and down in a 'Fatherly manner' and regretfully informed her that I wasn't Mr. Johnson. She said, "I'm sorry." and kissed me again on the cheek, smiled and slowly walked away. I was just glad that I was there to help make this lovely young co-ed's day, and also there for others if they chose to mistaken me for someone else, and make their football game more enjoyable.

After the loss to CMU, we all headed to Mt. Pleasant for dinner at the buffet and then to the gaming floor. We all headed in seperate directions, Debbie headed to the slot machine area in search of her favorite machine, 'Wheel Of Fortune', and I to the craps table. Both Debbie and I had a 'Benjamin' to lose, but I had visions of walking away with a lot more than I came with. Twenty minutes after I started playing, Deb was standing next to me. She'd been wining on the slots and was taking a break and decided to come over and join me in my quest to break the bank.

While standing next to me, I could see her eyeing my abundance of chips, so I gave her back the $100 that I started out with and continued to play with the winnings that I'd aquired in twenty minutes of play and she walked away in search of that one winning machine in building of thousands. Suddenly after winning about $80, the dice seemed to get cold and weren't rolling my way, so I picked up my chips and left in search of my wife to see how she was doing. Finding her sitting at a machine, we decided to take a break and walked around the casino, talked and did some people watching. After about fifteen minutes, she went back to the slots and I positioned myself at another craps table. The tide had turned and I started losing and losing and losing. The thought of leave while you're still ahead, entered and exited my mind, but like 99.99% of the people that go to casinos, you think damn, just one more roll of the dice, but it didn't happen the way I was thinking. Well, the way I looked at it, I've played for a couple of hours, given my start-up money back to my wife, so I basically walked away even. Earlier, I walked past a 25 cent slot machine, put a $1 in and walked away with $22.75, which I had handed to Deb earlier, so in my mind, I was ahead of the game. Finding Deb, we cashed in my chips, and also her winning tickets and we figured that after paying for our football tickets, dinner and gambling, we made a few bucks to take home, so we came out ahead. Everyone had a great time at the football game and also at the casino.
Stacey had meetings in Ann Arbor on Monday, so she drove back to spend the night with us and Rick and Becky had driven to our place in the morning so we could ride together, so they stayed and we continued to party back here until late in the evening.

Until next timing-ly,

Jim

How I Spent My Summer

2008-09-17T14:55:00.027-04:00

It's been a while since I've been in the mood to write something in B.S. From J.E. The summer months seem to be more for enjoyment and doing things and besides, the six people that read this sh*t already know what I've been up to. I'll sum this up as briefly as possible and get you up to speed, if you're not one of the six people.

1. I turned 60 in August and had a big party for the occasion. Friends and family were here and we partied until the wee hours of the morning. Well, a lot people did, I was in bed by midnight resting my back. I received a lot of great gifts and it was great having everyone over to party. Nothing like having friends and family over that care about you, that would travel long distances to attend. Or maybe it was the keg of beer, the food and the 15 -20 fifths liquor that brought them around.

2. On July 2nd, a tornado or extremely high winds came through the the country side of Eaton Rapids and ripped the sh*t out of our place. We were without power for a few hours and couldn't get out of the driveway even if we wanted to because of the trees that were blocking the road. We had to put on a new roof, re-plant 90% of the flowers that Debbie worked so hard planting. I powerwashed and stained the deck, along with re-painting the shed that I finished painting two days prior to the storm. And, with the tree behind the shed uprooted, I also had to re-build the fence that was around the shed, finishing that chore two days before my birthday party. But, it all came together with Deb's assistance and 'Leadership'.

3. Deb taught summer school for the first time in her 25+ year teaching career. She said that she wanted to experience teaching summer school, but I heard her tell someone that she didn't want to spend all of her free time with me. Does that mean I'm free to go out on the 'Prowl'?

4. Summer is over and we really didn't do a damn thing exciting and I'm extremely bummed about it. Next year it will be different. I never even put the kayak in the water and maybe this weekend I will take it out to the Grand River and paddle from the Smithville Dam into town. Wow, that will take a whole 30 minutes to do. Takes longer to put the damn thing in the water than it will to go from one end to the other. Maybe I'll just take it to Narrow Lake and paddle around, or just say the hell with it and leave it in the garage until next year.

5. Thanks to Hurricane Ike, we received massive rains that flooded our side yard and that was all the damage it did to us. Maybe the 'Weather Gods' felt sorry for us because he ripped the sh*t out of us in July and decided that we had been through enough this year. Our house sits up on a hill and that saved us from any flooding. Of course, our sump pump ran a lot, but it did what it was supposed to do, keep the water out. I was thinking of putting the house up for sale, now that we have lake property and also have a home on a one hole golf course.

6. Now that summer is over, Deb is back at Frost Elementary where is she is a Third Grade Icon. I've heard rumors that they want to put a statue of her at the entrance to the school holding her class grade book, somewhat like the statue of Rocky Balboa in Pittsburgh. This though, with words on the granite base, "Yo De'Shawn, you be 16 and be going in da Fourff Grade."

Well, that's about it for my wonderful summer. It was short and it was sweet as summers go. It seems that the older you get, the faster the year goes by. But, it wasn't too hot and was very enjoyable sitting out on my deck, reading and hanging with Debbie and friends that stopped by. In about a month, it will be that time of the year to take the snow blowers from the shed and put EVERYTHING on the deck into the shed for the winter. Time to put the Christmas lights up before the snow flies and it gets to cold to do it. Guess it never ends.

One Cat Is Fine - Five Cats Just Ain't Happening

2008-07-27T21:47:00.026-04:00

The other day as Deb and I were turning out of our driveway to take in a show in Lansing, she noticed something down the road. Stopping the car, we noticed a black animal about 50 yards away near the weeds. We determined after a short and heated debate that it was either a Panther like she thought, or just a large black cat like I told her it was. As we were about to once again pull away, she slammed on the brakes and screamed, "Honey Look, there's two more." Rolling down the window there were two more kittens along side the road about 10 feet from our driveway. Deb started acting really nutty and going on a rant, "What are we going to do with them, they're probably hungry. Where will they sleep? How did they get here?" I looked at her in amazement and said, "Simple, some Sh*t Head dropped the damn things off out here so we'd have to deal with them. Let them catch a mouse and fall asleep in the field like the other cats that have been abandoned do. If they're around tomorrow, I'll try and catch them and take them to the vet." Finally,off to Lansing we drove for a night of entertainment and upon our return, no kittens to be seen. The next day was kitten free and we worked around the house getting it back in shape after the tornado, with History Sugar Hall, lounging around in the yard.

This morning, Sunday, we were sitting in the living room talking about how we were going to spend this gorgeous day. Deb got up and opened the front door and sat down and said, "Jim, History is on the front porch crying." and got up to let him in. As she opened the door, I hear her say "Oh my gosh, there's two kittens on the porch." I got up to look and indeed, two kittens approximately six to eight weeks old. "Don't feed them", I said, "Don't you remember what happened when we fed your brother Scott? He didn't leave for six months.", and went outside to see the little things, but they hauled ass around the back of the house and were on the lower deck. Within minutes, Deb was out there with two bowls of kitty food and a bowl of water. "Honey, they're so hungry and I feel so bad for them. What shall we do?" Looking at her in awe for never listening to me, I said, "Well, since you've fed them, they're not going away, so I'll try and snatch them up in the morning during their breakfast and take them to the Vet in town, so he can give them to a good home."

We went about our chores and Stephanie called and asked us if we wanted to go out for dinner at the Ukai Japanese Steakhouse and Hibachi Grill in Lansing. We set a dinner time as I told her about our new outside guests. Dinner was great at the Hibachi Grill. The Chef cooked our meal right at our table, throwing utensils and food in the air, and batting food with a spatula to our plates and catching an egg in his chef's hat. He fired up the grill and flames shot up about four feet in the air. Our chef made a volcano out of an onion which was really cool and I was just as amazed as the two little kids that were sitting at our table. I ordered Hibachi Sea Scallops, while Deb had Hibachi Steak and Steph having Hibachi veggies. If I had known Steph was buying, I would have had Lobster, but the Scallops were excellent and we all shared our meals. I was so impressed that I told Deb that we would be going back again. That is, when Stephanie is once again in the buying mood. After a nice visit back at Steph's, we headed home to kick back home for a nice relaxing evening, I thought.

Pulling into the driveway, we were greeted by two little silver streaked kittens waiting at the end of the driveway. I look at Debbie and I see her sort of smiling, like she's going to try and talk me into keeping one or both of them. "Don't even think about it," I said as we pulled into the garage. "I'm going to give them another bowl of food so they have something in their bellies for tonight," she said and inside she goes, returning with two bowls of food for our overnight guest. Living in the country is great, but when you happen to talk loudly, or I should say scream, it's heard for quite a distance, sort of like being on water and talking. I was about to go inside and watch t.v. when I heard this ear piercing scream, "There's two more. JIM get out here fast, we're being invaded." Looking at the two new kittens and then at her, she looked at me and said, "Guess I'll get two more bowls of food." Returning with two more bowls, we stood there and did the only thing we could do, laugh. Tomorrow instead of taking two kittens to the vet, I'll be taking four. I sure the hell hope he takes them, or tomorrow I'll either be heading to Charlotte to the Human Society or depositing them elsewhere, in someone elses space like someone did to me. Wouldn't it be funny if I lucked out and dropped them off at the same person's home that left them for me. As cute and as lovable as they are, they have already over stayed their welcome. If anyone wants a kitten, give me a call tomorrow by 10:00 a.m. because they are going bye-bye in the car.

The Storm of 08

2008-07-22T21:13:00.008-04:00

It's been a few months since I've added something to the B.S FROM J.E. Blog. The last time, I tried to write from my BlackBerry to see if I could mobile blog and it worked. Well, a lot of sh*t has happened since last I've written.....Deb decided to teach summer school for the first time EVER.....We survived a semi tornado.....and my back is still the same - bad. But, life goes on. In two days, Deb will be finished teaching summer school.....The insurance is giving us a good sized amount to get the roof, siding and personal items fixed and replaced.....And, my back is still the same - bad. The day the storm starting, Deb and I were in the garage putting on the new kayak rackswe purchased for the Jeep because we were heading North in two days for a fun packed long weekend of kayaking and kicking back with Steve & Stacey and Mark & Libby at their cabin on the Manistee River. History 'Sugar' Hall was in the garage with us, content with playing with the plastic wrapping that the racks came in. When the first of the hail started hit the house, he stopped dead in his tracks and then hauled ass into the field and wasn't seen again until six hours later. Debbie heard him meowing in the barn across the street as we were walking the road calling for him. It was storming and hailing so badly that I had given him up for dead. As we headed for shelter in the basement, the wind passed the family room door so hard that we thought a freight train was passing the house. I've heard people say who have been in a storm like this or worse, that was the sound the wind made and now I can attest it to be true. It was one scary sound.

Slowly, we are replacing everything that was damaged. All of our landscaping was destroyed in the tornado and my tomato garden that was growing up so nicely was trashed when the tree behind the shed split in two, crashed my fence and fell into the garden. Deb has replaced most of the flowers and shrubs that were destroyed. The flower garden that would normally have taken me a couple of hours to create by my tee boxes, but took me four days because of my back pain, was somewhat saved when a huge tree across the street fell into it and protected it from the hail and high winds. Our glass top patio table that matched all the other deck furniture was picked up and thrown over the deck railing, breaking upon landing and depositing a million pieces of glass into the lawn for me to figure out how to clean up so no one cut their feet. Problem solved: A wet vac, a stool and about eight of being hunched over, which really made my back feel great. The impact was so great, that glass was also thrown across and into the driveway and in the other yard area. Along with that, the roof was ripped to sh*t, some of the siding was torn off and deposited in the neighbor's yard and my picnic table was smashed.

Right after the storm was over, we walked outside to survey the damage and noticed that we were completely blocked in by two huge trees that had fallen. Two pick-up trucks arrived, each on either side of the fallen trees and chain saws began to start up. In a matter of thirty minutes, a path was cleared so we could get out. It was nice to see neighbor helping neighbor in a time of need. People stopping to ask if anyone was hurt and needed medical assistance. Something we see to little of. But, we survived the tornado of 08. The 107 arce bean field next to us and surrounding corn fields were destroyed. It looked like someone grabbed each plant at the bottom of the stalk and slide their hand up, ripping off all the leaves, leaving total devastation in some areas. We came out of it fine, but it could have been worse. I'm just glad that Deb and I were alright and History came out alive. I'd say he's got about one life left and then he will be History.

Blogging From My BlackBerry

2008-06-04T18:24:00.002-04:00

I'm not sure that this is going to work since this the first time that I've tried this from my phone, but I guess we'll see, what I guess we'll see.

This is just going to be a test anyway and I will deleting this, but curiousity goy the better of me. I read on the intro that there is a mobile blog and I will read up on that also. One question I need to ask is, why am I talking to myself.

C-ya

J.E.

Every Little Bit Helps

2008-05-31T10:42:00.009-04:00

With the price of gas going up and up and up, it seems like everything else in America is going up also. All Americans are starting to feel the crunch and tightening their belts and thinking about what is important to them to spend their hard earned, or disability money on. Here at J.E.'s homestead, we decided since it's just the two of us, that Deb and I wouldn't go out and buy the expensive cuts of meat that we are accustomed too, buying instead of Porterhouse or T-Bone, that we could just as well survive eating a Rib-Eye.

Even History is pitching in. This morning, around 10:00 a.m., while peacefully sleeping with a cool Easterly breeze covering my body, I heard Debbie's voice praising History for something. I crawled out of bed and ventured downstairs to see what was going on. Debbie opened the door to the garage and showed me that History Sugar Hall was helping out the money crunch by bringing home a meal for himself, so we wouldn't have to go out and spend 32 cents on a can of Chicken & Gravy for him. Debbie said that she'll have to go online and find out how to make rabbit stew. How could he have known the importance of savings in times like these. All I can say is what I've been saying for years: He IS the smartest cat of all.

Trip To Our Capital

2008-05-29T19:12:00.015-04:00

Since I have to file for S.S., there are a ton of things that have to be filled out, papers obtained, doctor reports from the very first doctor that has seen me for my condition, what they did and their recommendations. So, I had to go to the very first one, have all of this written down in 'Layman's' terms, then go on to the next one and the next one and the next one. While filling out more paperwork, I needed to submit my Birth Certificate. No problem, had one downstairs in the file cabinet that Debbie keeps so current beginning with the first poem that I wrote her. She tells me, "Top cabinet, second drawer, halfway in, labeled Birth Certificates". I go to the basement, and surer than sh-t, there it was, second drawer, halfway in, labeled Birth Certificates. I opened the folder, pulled it out and the folds were stuck together. I lightly pulled them apart and the paper pulled with it, wiping out a portion of my name and birth date. So, to Lansing I go.

I haven't been to the Capital for a few years and not very familiar with how to get there. I can see it in the distance when we go to Stephanie's house, but the One Way streets, dead ends, and everything thing else in that area, are not my cup of tea. But, I had to have that Birth Certificate and to downtown Lansing I go. With the MapQuest route in my hands, I was off, and 35 minutes later WA LA, right to the door. The only thing was that there was only meter parking and I was told on the phone, it would take anywhere from two to four hours, once I filled out the paperwork and I didn't have that many quarters for the meter in my pocket. So, to a parking lot I drove. I walked back to the building, filled out the paperwork and the government employee behind the Plexiglas eating chips and salsa, put down his paperback and told me "That will be $36.00. But the good news - it would only take an hour. Now what to do for roughly sixty minutes in a place that I knew where nothing was at?

After getting my bearings as I left 201 Townsend St., I started heading to the Capital Building to see if Gov. Jenny Granholm wanted to shoot the shit while I was waiting. She was in a meeting and told the receptionist to tell me, that she'd be available in two hours and to wait and we'd go have a drink. Sorry Jen! Don't want to wait around. But, on the steps on the Capital, a ceremony was going on for the start of the Special Olympics which will be taking place in Mt. Pleasant. So, as I stood there listening and scanning the Special Olympians, I knew that in my present condition, I wasn't able to beat anyone of them in a 50 yd dash. But, there would be a 'Hugger' waitng at the end race to embrace me. My luck, it would probably be a 300 pound guy that would pick me up and swing me like a rag doll. Maybe I'll participate in the 'Games' next year if I'm feeling better.

Back at 201 Townsend St., I entered the building about 40 minutes later, checked the status of my certificate and was told it was being printed as we speak. I purchased a luke warm Coke for $1.50, pulled out my new BlackBerry and checked and sent a couple of emails. My name was called, I picked up the paperwork, walked back to my car and was home by 11:30 a.m. I was going to call it a day, but decided to mow the yard instead while it was still somewhat cool out. Once that was completed, I did what I have been doing best - I laid down on the couch and took a nap.

Is There Life After Retirement???

2008-05-22T19:18:00.025-04:00

As most of the six people that read this sh-t know, I am now on Long Term Disability or in my mind, Re-F-ing-Tired. Truthfully, and I know that you probably don't believe this, but I'd much rather be working and having something more in my life to do than clean house, cook dinner, do outside work, do the shopping and everything else in the house. Two weeks ago as I was taking the laundry hamper down three flights of stairs to the basement to do ANOTHER load of wash, Deb said to me, "Jim Please! At least let me take care of the laundry and you can do everything else." to which I snickered and thought, "Big deal, I don't have to do laundry, but she's LETTING me do EVERYTHING ELSE." So, I gladly agreed because I really do hate doing laundry. Now, that was two Saturdays ago and that Sunday night guess what I was doing???? Yeah, that's right, laundry. I've gained just a 'little' weight since becoming 'retired' and I only have two pair of jeans that fit from my last 'weight gain' and both were dirty and you know who was too tired to do the laundry that week.

Every morning when Deb gets up to get ready for work, she thinks it's funny to let History into the bedroom to jump in bed with me. He's gotten into this routine of snuggling under my chin and going to sleep. But, before he does that, he has to roll around on my head, sit on my back and purr, roll over on his back for me to rub his stomach and all the little tricks that he knows. It's so bad now that we have to leave a glass of water on the night stand by the bed, because after he jumps into bed and wakes me up, he has to have a drink of water, then puts his head under my chin and falls asleep. Deb thinks it's cute and yes, it was at first, but it's becoming a little ridiculous. Every morning, day, after day, after day.

I have been doing some outside work, but at a slow pace. What should take me a couple of hours, now takes me depending on the task, two days to a week to complete. After one of the trees by my tee boxes fell to the ground during a wind storm, I decided to put in a little flower garden. With the help of Debbie picking out the flowers and bushes, my idea became a reality. It should have taken me a day to complete, but with my back in the condition that it's in, it took me about four days, with a lot of resting in between my 15 -20 minute work sessions. But, it's finished and as I always have said, 'It's good enough for who it's for.'

For Mother's Day, Jennifer and Stephanie gave Deb a nice gift certificate to the Flower Garden in town, and we went out and spent it all. We planted tons of flowers around the house and in pots on the deck area, along with 30 tomato plants next to the shed. Once again, I rested more than I worked. But, with the help of Tiny Drunk Dancer, we finished it up and the yard came together. Wood chips were added to the flower beds and I went back several times to the Flower Garden to purchase more. Next year instead of buying prepared bags, I'll be figuring out how many bags we used and compare that price to the price of having the chips delivered in bulk. Either way, it's a lot of work. But, it does look nice and this year, my tomato plants had better grow. I rotor tilled and mixed manure into the soil, so I'm expecting big things out there compared to last year. Funny thing is, I don't even like tomatoes unless they're in a sauce. I can't even see how people can slice a tomato and put it on bread and eat it.

One thing I have been doing to occupy my time since being retired is, I'm teaching an adult named Ronald how to read. I volunteered at the Adult Education Program in town for a program called, Teach An Adult To Read. I find it so fulfilling and I've been partnered with this amazing man. We now have bonded and he and I sit together three days a week at McDonald's where he works. I must admit he's a fast learning and each week, I bring him new material and he can't wait to get his hands on it. A lot of times though, he's more interested in looking at the pictures, but that will change in time. I know that this retirement project will do both of us a lot of good. I wish you could see how Ronald's eyes light up when he sees me bring a new book or magazine. It would truly warm your heart like it has done mine.

Tennis Shoe Claustrophobia

2008-05-08T21:41:00.013-04:00

Debbie, aka, 'Tiny Dancer' (BS From JE - 4/17/08), had injured her foot while dancing crazy drunk on New Year's Eve in Cadillac. After begging her to go to the foot doctor for four months, the pain was finally too much for her and she decided to seek professional help. Enter Dr. Gregory H. Colbert DPM-aka Footman Extraordinaire, located in Charlotte, MI. to the rescue. 'Big Greg' as he liked to be called, told her that yes, he could indeed help her and within a couple of months she'd be walking like a normal person.

On the way to 'Big Greg's' office, Deb said to me, "You know what he's going to say don't you? He's going to want me to get inserts for my shoes and it isn't going to work. My feet will get hot, start to sweat and I'll get claustrophobic and pass out."

"WHAT!", I said looking at her in amazement. "You're telling me that if you wear inserts in your shoes, you'll pass out from the heat? Is that what you're trying to tell me?"

"Yes Damn it. And, l'll also become claustrophobic which will cause me pass out."

I was dumbfounded by the last statement and was about to respond when we pulled into 'Big Greg's parking lot. After a complete examination, he said that she would indeed need inserts and he wanted her to purchase a pair a good tennis shoes to wear. He recommended that we go to Dick's Sporting Goods and purchase a good athletic pair, not some off the shelve brand at Wal-Mart.

Deb told him that she hated wearing tennis shoes and she had a pair of Keds that she's probably worn at least twenty times in the past ten years and proceeded to tell him about getting claustrophobia and passing out. After his laughter subsided and he picked himself up off the floor, he told her to go out and buy a tennis shoe that would support her feet properly and not to worry. She shot me a look that said, "I told you so." and we left the office. We went to Dick's, bought a pair of expensive tennis shoes, Big Greg put in the inserts, she's worn them for the past three days and hasn't passed out once or had a claustrophobic attack. She looks good in the new shoes and according to her, the inserts are working great and she'll be ready to dance up a storm by New Year's Eve.

WHICH ARE THE 10 YEAR OLD KEDS?

Claustrophobic and pass out. Do you believe that sh-t?

Annual In-Law Golfing Weekend

2008-04-28T23:02:00.012-04:00

The week was filled with weather checks for the Gaylord area, phone calls to various golf courses to check on early bird prices. We decided we'd play Michawye the first day since no other golf course would answer their phones. The price - $30 all you could play with lunch and cart. Getting back to the weather forecast, the day of the outing, the high was to be 45 degrees, sunny, with 30 mph gusts of wind. But, we were ready to play and the only thing that would be keeping us back was snow.

Thursday while checking some news online, I read that a forest fire was spreading by 4 Mile Bridge near Grayling and had jumped I-75 and several vacation homes were destroyed that were in the path of the blaze. As we passed the area on Friday on our way, there was still smoldering and the smell of the charred timber was in the air. It was eerie to say the least.

I scheduled two tee off times, one for 11:20 and the other for 11:30. It was cold to say the least, but as seasoned golfers, we were ready, all except Debbie. I had urged her to pack articles of clothing that would keep her warm, including a pullover cap, gloves, scarf and wind pants. You know, something that would keep your body warm since she wasn't playing or moving around, only drinking. Like usual, she took my words of wisdom as meaningless babble. The bitching and complaining started as soon as we left the cabin and continued all the way to the golf course and then in the cart to first tee box. She told me about how idiotic it was to be out there in this type of weather and I could see that she wasn't going to stop. So, I politely asked her to return home and let us play what I called a 'Bitch Free' round of golf. On the way out of the golf course, Deb turned the wrong way and instantly became lost in the massive wooded sub-division that surrounded three other golf courses. But, the Golf Gods were with her and she found her way out of the forrest and back to the cabin an hour later. I of course, got blamed for telling her to make a right when she left the golf course. What I said to her was, "You're going straight home, right?" And of course, she claims I said "At the end of the driveway, turn right." Blame me, I don't care. It's like that at home. Her favorite line is, "I didn't do it, so who's left? and my normal respose to that remark is always, "I guess it's me and I don't really give a sh-t."

It was cold and the girls only played nine holes and after the free lunch (drinks cost) the girls went back to the cabin and Nick and I continued to play the second nine. I was dressed for the elements and Nick, being young, didn't seem to mind the Artic climate. We were thinking of playing the next day, but when I got out of bed, I couldn't walk and politely declined to go out again. Besides, Nick gave Uncle Jim a lesson. But remember, I have a back injury or so I told him. I told him, once the weather warms up to at least 70, we'll go out again and maybe it will be a little different. Doubt it, but maybe he'll be ill or something. Maybe next year the Weather Gods will be a little more kind.

Home Intruder Captured

2008-04-22T19:03:00.027-04:00

It was the best of times. It was the worst of times. Best of times for me, and the worst of times for that hideous creature who entered my garage uninvited. I never thought I'd ever have to call the Po Po on anyone or anything, but today when I walked out of my kitchen and into the garage I instantly realized that someone or something had violated my space. "Hello" I said from my cell phone. "This is Jim Hall on Boody Hwy. and I have a prowler cornered in my garage and I think he's going to try and bolt." I was told an officer was on his way and not to try any heroics.

I remained in the garage, keeping an eye on the predator that was now hiding amongst my belongings. One time becoming enraged when the intruder tried to move, I said in a calm voice "Move and I'll pop a cap in your in your ugly ass ." The intruder looked at me with his cold eyes and stopped dead his tracks. He knew he was cornered and I wasn't just a helpless 60 yr old. He knew he had met his match. Luckily for him, the Eaton County Authorities arrived, just as I was about to take matters into my own hands.

As the officer stepped from his vehicle and was reaching for his sidearm, I told him it wasn't necessary and that all the fight was gone. The culprit was cornered and laying subdued on the garage floor, all the fight was gone from his now shivering frame. "Thanks for getting here so quickly Officer, but as you can tell, I have the situation under control." He thanked me and said that he wished there were more Citizens like myself and that my quick response probably stopped this vile creature from entering into other residences.

As this courageous County Law Enforcement Officer walked to where I had this lowlife trapped, he could see that there was indeed no fight left and all he had to do was take this lowlife piece of sh-t away to the hoosegow. Again I thanked him for his fast response and asked what he was going to do next. He looked at me with tired eyes and said. "My shift is over, my duties to the public are complete, so I think I'm heading to the bar and pound down some brewski's." I handed him a couple of bucks and said, "Here you go my friend, the first one's on me. Tonight, my family can sleep in peace."

Debbie's Footie Hurts

2008-04-17T16:33:00.022-04:00

A few months before New Year's Eve of 2007, Deb's right foot had been hurting and we figured it was ligaments since her left foot prior to this felt the same. According to her, the pain went away after a year. On 12/31/07, we headed up North to Cadillac to party with brother Steve and wife Stacey and to our surprise, her cousin Jim and his wife Beth showed up also.

Since I don't drink any longer, I got to sit around and watch everyone else get totally trashed prior to leaving for town and watch them drink some more. Knowing Debbie as I do, after a few drinks, she thinks she should be on Dancing With the Stars. You ever see a drunk dance? It's FUNNY. Anyway, I told her to be careful and not too dance to much, but as soon as she entered the bar, she was dancing herself to the table. We danced the first fast dance and she said that her right foot was extremely painful to walk on and she would only dance slow dances. Next thing I knew, a fast number comes on, her brother grabs her and off they go to the dance floor. I noticed on her way back, she was trying not to limp and I could see the pain she was in. She grabs my shoulder and collapses into her chair. With tears in her eyes, she says, "Honey, I can't do this anymore, I'm really hurting." "Well.......", I was about to say, and looked up and she was on her way back to the dance floor with Cousin Jimmy and they were both doing some 'Drunk Dance'. When the dance was over, she tried to walk back to the table like there is no pain, collapses in the chair, but this time, crying. She asks me to go up and get her a drink, and like a dutiful husband, I did.

I get back to the table and no Debbie. I asked my sister in law and she motions to the dance floor and who is back up there spinning around like a top? Yep, you guessed it. A few songs pass and finally I say, "Hon, this is my favorite song, how about you and I going......." "Are you nuts? You want me to get up and try and dance? Honey, I hurt too much, I can't" "Sorry!" I asked Stacey if she wanted to dance and we head for the dance floor. Within two minutes, Deb passes us with the guy from the next table and the two are dancing the same 'Drunk Dance' that she did with Cousin Jimmy. How did this stranger know the steps??? Back at the table I said, "You wouldn't dance with me because your foot hurt, but you dance with the guy from the next table?, She looked up and said "He asked me and I couldn't turn a stranger down." Whatever!

New Year's day we were at the Cadillac Hospital getting Xrays.

Fast Forward four months. After months of listening to her bitch about her foot, I made an appointment for her with the foot doctor. Short version, he's making her two leather type inserts for her shoes and she has to wear them for a few months until she is better. Damn, I hope this works because I'm really tired of listening to her complain, tired of seeing her hurting and really tired of having to rub her feet for two and three hours a night. Not that I wouldn't do it for her anyway, but not every night.

The Doctor said to her, "Can I get you to turn over and lay on your stomach for me?" She flipped over faster than a sea otter with a clam on its stomach. He applied the casting material and now it's a game of wait and see. I hope it works, cause I'm tired of rubbing her foot.

Becky Sue is Niffty Fifty

2008-04-09T22:48:00.015-04:00

About a month ago, before I started back to blogging, our own Becky Sue, wife of Rick, Mother to Molly and Kellen, Sister to Debbie, Steve and Scott and Sister in Law to Stacey and myself, J.E., turned the Big Five O. One day when Deb and I were at home, Molly called and said that she and Kellen were planning a surprise birthday party for their Mom and since we were their favorite Aunt and Uncle, they of course wanted us there and said that we could have one of the upstairs bedrooms if we came. Well hell, that was better than sleeping on the hide-a-bed, so I told her that we wouldn't miss it for the world and what could we bring to help her out. Then I found out that they actually couldn't get anyone to commit and we were the last ones on the list. Molly said that if people knew that Aunt Deb and Uncle Jim were going to be there, then everyone else would show up. Now is that an M.S.U. grad or what?

As we walked into the cabin ready to party, Kellen, Molly and the Birthday Girl were sitting on the couch wondering why people were starting to arrive at the cabin until Molly said, "Damn, I forgot that we were having a party for Mom." Not to worry. This family is a partying family and it doesn't take much to get one going and lucky for Becky, we all brought gifts. Apparently, the word had spread that Deb and I were going to be in Gaylord that day and more and more, relatives and friends were starting to show up along with people that no one knew. They just saw cars in front of the cabin and figured it was par-TAY time. Debbie brought 150 Jello Shots for herself, but decided she'd better give one to the Birthday Girl. Becky opened presents and pretended to like them all, but later told us that she like the Sister Angels that Debbie told me to buy the best. Then I heard her tell Stacey she like the tea pot that Stacey bought her the best. Then she told me that I was the best gift she could have gotten. OK, I made that one up.

Jennifer and Eddie drove up, and Stephanie, who was going to ride up with them had to work that day and drove up separately. Tori drove up from Lake State and Steve, Stacey and Jami came in from Cadillac for the event.

Neighbors came to pay their respects, I mean wish her a Happy Birthday, pound down several brewskis, have some snacks and pound down more brewskis. The only good thing for me about not drinking any longer, is that no matter what day you wake up, you're feeling great, unless you're sick with the flu or something. When I walked downstairs the following morning, the scene was like something out of Animal House. Everyone that was up, looked like they've been on a ten day drunk, and believe me, I do know what that's like. People were walking around at a slow pace, half laying/half sitting on the couches and chairs, heads on the dining room table. Novices!

The party was fantastic and it was an honor to be there for Becky's 50th birthday. She's a class act and a wonderful Sister in Law, even though her golf game leaves a lot to be desired. I know that she had a wonderful birthday and of course, we our love you Becky Sue.

YOU CAN TAKE THE BOY OUT OF DETROIT, BUT YOU CAN'T TAKE DETROIT OUT OF THE BOY

2008-04-07T15:15:00.032-04:00

It all started in early March, when the first of many emails started to arrive in my In Box, talking about an April golf outing around my neck of the woods. After hundreds of 'Bring yo cash, I'm kick'n yo ass' emails, it was decided that April 5th would be the designated date to kick off what we hoped would be the first of many fun times together. The weather didn't do us wrong either for the first 2008 Parkman Brothers (minus 1) Golf Outing. I arrived early so I could sneak on the putting green before the others arrived and get in a little warm up to increase my odds. But, as I was chipping 30' wedge shots onto the 5th green at Country Town Golf Course, a Mercury SUV pulled up and I heard, "You can do that all day, but I'm still taking yo cash, Bitch." CAUGHT! After we greeted each other with our traditional hand shakes and Manly Hugs, we headed to the Club House to pick up some 'Course Refreshment' and headed in the direction of the first tee. Even before getting there, the laughter and the insults had already begun. The Boys were in town and ready to play. Winter was officially over as far as we were concerned. The Parkman Brothers were together once again. At that moment, it seemed like we had all traveled back in time, back to being 12 years old in Detroit, when we all got off a bus at Rouge Park Golf Course, carrying a bag of mis-matched clubs for our first official golf lesson. Who knew then, that after that first encounter on a REAL golf course, we'd all still be best buds and playing this silly ass game 48 years later.

As all golfers know, the first tee is the worst because everyone is watching you tee off. You know that if you don't hit a somewhat decent first drive, everyone that is standing there is going to hoot on you big time. I can't remember who teed off first, but by the end of all of our first drives, two balls went left, with one landing on wrong fairway and the other one landing on the wrong green 75 yards to the left. One ball did fly straight and true, but only with a total distance of maybe 50 feet and stopped. The fourth drive went into the pond to the right and the fifth one flew into the trees and was lost forever. MULLIGANs for everyone. The golf season has officially begun and what better way to start it off than with five life long friends. Years ago while on one of long weekend outings up Norf, we found a skull that had a hole in top of it and we purchased a flask to fit inside and fittingly named it the 'Death Flask'. We bring it with us on each and every outing and ceremoniously take a drink honoring each of the surviving Parkman Brothers prior to each game. The 'Death Flask' has each of our initials and birth dates engraved on it, although mine is wrong. So, if you send me a gift on 8/16, it should have been here on 8/12 and you'd be late. Just letting you know because I wouldn't want you to feel bad thinking you missed it. Don't thank me now, just thank me with a nicer gift than you were going to get me. Hey, you're all invited to my Big SIX OHHHHHH Birthday party, if anyone decides to give me one.

THE 'DEATH FLASK'

After golf, we headed to Springport for a nice lunch at the Hotel Bar, and continued to laugh and talk about everything that's been going on since we last saw each other a month ago. Things like, has anyone had seen so and so, who was that teacher that smacked you up side the head? What was our kindergarten teacher's name? But the funny thing was, one of us would remember and the stories would continue non-stop. Usually when it's my turn to host an outing, we head back to my house afterwards for a BBQ. Debbie cooks a wonderful meal and has everything ready when we arrive and I throw the meat on the grill. BUT, I give all the credit to my lovely wife for making everything perfect for my friends. After a few hours at the bar laughing our asses off and talking old times, we said farewell. They headed back to Saline, Livonia, Canton and Northville. And me, ha-ha, a fifteen minute drive back to Eaton Rapids. I was home napping on the couch by the time they hit I-94. It was a great day that was spent with great friends. It doesn't get any better than that. That night when I checked my email, there was already an email and a response about when and where the next outing would be. THE SAGA CONTINUES

The last weekend in April or the first weekend in May, depending on the weather, I'll be up Norf with my two lovely Sister in Laws, Becky 'Footwedge' Teel and Stacey 'I'm not playing if it raining' Osborn, for our annual In-Law Golfing/Bonding/Partying long weekend. Hopefully, Deb will join us so she can drive my cart and bring her now famous Jello Shots. This too is always a great fun weekend with plenty of laughter and good times.

Damn, It's been a while

2008-04-01T15:08:00.008-04:00

It's been quite awhile since I wrote in my blog and I apologize for not keeping up with the B.S., I haven't an excuse. Stephanie keeps telling me, "Dad, I check your blog page every other day or so and you haven't written one in a long time." Well, I checked and I believe the last one I did was for G.G.'s 100th Birthday party in Cadillac.

Actually, not much has been going in my old life. I'm sure that the 6 people that read this sh-t know that Jennifer and Eddie were married. Jennifer is the Office Manager at National City Bank and is also acting Manager as the current Manager just resigned. Stephanie has just received a promotion at her place of employment and it looks as if she may be doing some traveling in her new position to meet with clients. She still comes over and raids our freezer before she leaves to go back to her place in Lansing. She's having her upstairs attic fixed up to become her bedroom and using her downstairs bedroom for whatever. Debbie is still mean to me and you all know that I'm not deserving of any of any of it.

I still have my good and my bad days because of my back. Some days when the pain isn't so intense, I think that I'm starting to be on the mend and start doing things that I used to do, but soon realize that my back isn't healed and I was a fool for trying. One thing though, I don't have the severe stabbing pains as often that I was experiencing almost everyday of my life. But you know, compared to what some other people have that can't be cured, my back problems are nothing in comparison. I'm positive that one day soon I'll be back to my same old perverted self, and it can't come too soon for me.

On Saturday, all but one of my grade school buddies from Detroit are coming up and we're going to head over to Springport to play some golf. Well, I'm going to try and play. If I can't, I'll just ride along in the cart and B.S. with my friends. The six of us have been Best Bud's since Kindergarten, playing football, baseball and hockey together, learning to golf together and just plain ass hanging around and chasing women together. These guys are like my brothers, but without having to put up with their bullsh-t twenty four hours a day. It's too bad we don't live closer to each other so we could hang even more. This picture was taken up North at Sandy's (lower right, next to me) second home at Nub's Nob at Harbor Springs when we do our Annual Up Norf Golf Outing.

Debbie decided that after she completely changed the looks of our bedroom and one other bedroom upstairs and painted the upstairs bathroom (pronounced Baff-room - if you're in her Third Grade Class in Jackson), that MY Baff-room off the family room needed to be completely re-done also. So, since I'm a sh-tty painter in her book, she painted that also (I did the taping). While out looking at paint, I saw a bedroom that was done in two colors and demanded (begged) to have my baff-room done in the same colors and surprisingly, she agreed (after promising her I'd rub her feet for a week). I had visions of finally changing the looks of things that were on the walls and making it a 'Manly Room', with things a man loves doing. I could see pictures of my kayaking trips in descending frames next to the window, my backpacking trips with Steve and golfing trips with my friends on another wall, you know, MANLY STUFF, but it was not to be. I have little green duck soap from our trip to Memphis when we stayed at the Peabody, two figurines of George and Martha Washington that her Grandmother made, and things I don't even have a clue what they are. She doesn't even go down there except once a week, maybe. But, she did a fantastic job and I have to admit, I am a sh-tty painter and couldn't have come close to her accomplishment. In my book, she is indeed a Sh-t House painter.

There is something that has been bothering me for some time now and I can't find the answer to the question. If anyone of the six people that read this knows the answer to the question I seek, it will be greatly appreciated...... If conjoined twins participate in sports, are they counted as one or two players?

G.G.'s 100th Birthday Party

2007-08-14T15:33:00.000-04:00

A huge party was thrown in Cadillac, MI. on August 11th 2007 to celebrate the birthday of Stacey's Grandma. She was the life of the party and why not, she was turning 100 years young. Known as G.G. to everyone far and wide, she arrived to a crowd of cheering relatives and friends, some of whom traveled from Washington D.C. just to be in attendance.

Can you imagine what it would have been like to start your life off in 1907. You probably couldn't have called anyone to tell them you just had a daughter because only 8% of all U.S. homes had a phone.

You'd either have to send a telegraph or saddle up your horse and spread the word of your daughter's birth. There were only 45 states when G.G. was born. Alaska, Hawaii, Arizona, New Mexico and Oklahoma were just territories. Television wasn't even an idea yet, let alone a reality and radio as an entertainment was unheard of. Baseball was the National Pastime, only because Basketball, Football and Hockey weren't even a sport. Coca-Cola still contained cocaine, and you could buy Heroin, Morphine and Marijuana at any of your larger drugstores over the counter.

Even some celebrities were spotted in the crowd. Do you remember Phil Donahue? Well, he was there minus 'That Girl', Marlo Thomas. I asked him where she was hiding and he just looked at me and said, "Where's the keg?" I told him that if he wanted to drink, he'd have to help set up the tent and then he could drink until it was a floater. He jumped right in and worked up a sweat. He was heard saying afterwards, "Damn it, this is only a half barrel!"

How about Bo Derek? Remember her in 10? she was not only MY woman, but every healthy male over six years of age. She was stepping out of the pool on Friday afternoon and I stopped dead in my tracks. I thought, "Jim Bo, if you play this bad back angle up to Bo, you could probably get her to rub your back and probably get lucky tonight." Then as I took a closer look, I realized it wasn't Bo Derek at all, but my own lovely wife Debbie. Deb and I arrived on Friday afternoon to get a jump on the par-Tay and enjoyed the afternoon swimming hitting golf shots and catching up with Steve. Stacey, her sisters and her side of the family were at Torch Lake on three pontoons.

Everyone there had a great time at the party and G.G. enjoyed seeing and talking to everyone. She had plenty of grandchildren and great grandchildren there along with all of us that love her. She is full of history and wit and also, a wonderful lady.

A Laid Back Sometimes Blogger

2007-08-05T07:53:00.000-04:00

Good morning to all my Blogger Brothers and Sisters. I woke up this morning feeling great. One reason was that I was still breathing and, I was laying next to my lovely wife, and she was still breathing also. The second reason was, it was the 32nd day that I have not had a cigarette. July 1st, I went to my doctor and asked him to prescribe Chantix, a medication that blocks the receptors in your brain which the nicotine attaches itself to (according to Dr. Wulff). I can't tell you how great I feel. My back still hurts like hell though and I can only sit or stand for 30 minutes at a time before the pain is unbearable, but I'M NOT SMOKING and have no cravings for one. I'm really proud of myself and so is Deb and the girls. I've gotten over the 'hump' and that was the biggest part. The stuff really works. Now, I just have to get Debbie to try this miracle drug, not only for her health, but think of the money we could save if both of us were to quit.

I used to say to Deb, I'm going to quit smoking and the money I'll save from it will make a tractor payment. She'd say "You show me you can quit and then we'll see." I'd be all pumped up and maybe quit for a day. What I did tell her this time though was, I want the money I'd spend for a carton of cigarettes for myself, to put in a special bank account and when I want something, I'll have the money to buy it. That hasn't happened yet and I figure she owes me $200 for the month of July. So by next July, I'd have approx. $2,400 in my 'special account' to take a nice trip somewhere. And if she quit, she'd have enough saved to go with me. Her choice.

I never leave my patio cushions out during the night when there is a chance of rain. They've claimed scattered showers, isolated showers and storms for a month and we haven't had a drop. I've been taking my cushions in nightly, just in case the weather man is right for once. Last night, we got home late and the forecast for today was, possible showers late, and my back was hurting so badly, I just left the cushions out and would take them later today. I walked downstairs this morning and I couldn't believe it. IT WAS RAINING and my cushions were soaked. EIGHT CHAIR CUSHIONS AND TWO LOUNGE CUSHIONS SOAK. I can't think of the proper words to use for how I felt, so I'll just say, I WAS PISSED. For a month, I've taken them into the garage at night and the one time I leave them out, it rains. Once again, the weather man was wrong. That has be the best job in the world to have. Everyone knows it's always the opposite of what they say. If they say it's going to be sunny, it rains. If they call for rain, it's sunny. God, I hate those people. But they say it's suppose to be 93 tomorrow, so maybe the weatherman will have it right for once and I can throw all the cushions over the railings and they'll dry off. A-holes!

I had to retire my little blue Honda. It was on it's last legs and I couldn't trust it to start if I needed to go anywhere. It did me right for a car that had almost 235,000 miles on it. 'Old Blue' was getting tired and letting me know it. One day it would start and the next day it wouldn't. So, I purchased another car. Although this car is used, it is in perfect condition and I hope that it performs just as well as 'Old Blue'. I was out for lunch with my Detroit Brothers last week and I drove to Saline met with one friend and he drove to Ann Arbor to hook up with the other two. He has several vehicles and he picked me up in his Lexus and it had a For Sale sign on it. This was the first time I've seen the car and it was lovely. It had everything imaginable in it, like new and only 66,000 miles on it. I told Debbie that night what a great deal this was and the car was in mint condition and she said "Do what you want." I was shocked. So, I called up my buddy and I was driving it the next day. According to the computer records of the vehicle, an old woman in Florida first own it and drove it 7,000 mile. She then sold it to another old lady in Florida who drove it 33,000 miles. Then my buddy who has condos in Florida bought it and put 26,000 miles on it, keeping it in his garage from October thur May covered up. According to him, no one has ever smoked in it. Since I no longer smoke, I was pleased that it didn't have a smoky smell and told Deb that I would really appreciate it if she didn't smoke in it. We drove to Ann Arbor to pick the car up and Deb wanted to drive home and I followed in the Jeep. Fifteen minutes later, I saw her arm shoot out the window and a cigarette shot pass me on the expressway. She couldn't even wait an hour to light up. Not only did I see her arm protrude from the window once, but FIVE TIMES. So, if you do the math, that would be one cigarette every twelve minutes. She was the first person to smoke in that car, EVER. Unreal! But, she promised never do it again, yeah right. Paybacks will be hell.

Friday, I'm going to the Lions exhibition game with my Detroit Buddies and then on Saturday, we're heading to Cadillac for Stacey's grandma's birthday party, she'll be 110 years old. Wonder what it's like to be that old? She's seen a lot in her lifetime. She's a huge Tiger Fan and I thought about calling up the Tigers and ask if they would be willing to give an autographed ball to her for her 100th. But, I waited to long and besides, once I got it, I'd probably keep it for myself. Not really. So, if anyone knows what to get a woman that is a century old, let me know quickly.

Blog-ingly,

J.E.

Debbie's latest cleaning job

2007-07-16T21:36:00.000-04:00

On 7/14/07, Debbie and I celebrated our 34th wedding anniversary and it's no secret how much I love her. From the first day I saw her standing on that lonesome street corner in Detroit waiting for her next trick to drive by, I knew that was the woman for me. She has been not only a loving wife for 34 years, but also my constant companion and best friend. She nurses me back to health when I'm sick, and is just one hell of a wonderful woman. She has a good head on her shoulders and never once has she been afraid to put me in my place if she thought I needed it. Apparently, that alone is a full time job.

Most or all of you know what a stickler Debbie is for a clean house. Hell, a clean anything for that matter. She even goes into the basement once or twice a year with the vacuum and sucks up non-existent cob webs from the corners and ceiling. But now, she's taken this cleaning sickness a bit too far and I have to say something about it.

For Christmas last year, we decided to buy ourselves a laptop computer. We have other computers, but a nice laptop for the upstairs was a nice present for the both of us. Over the months, she has turned into quite a computer person. She even knows how to pay bills online, something she never did before. I've actually become quite proud of my little I.T. wife. Actually, it's becoming quite hard to use 'Her' computer anymore and I find myself using the desk top in the dungeon more and more. The other day, I was out in the yard finishing up some work and as I was walking back through the garage into the house, I noticed her at the side of the trash can, rummaging through a vacuum bag. Curious as to what she was doing, I walked over and asked. She turned around and said, "You need to go in right now and call Gateway. They sold us an inferior computer."

"How so?" I inquired.

"Well, I was vacuuming the couch cushions when I noticed that you must have left the lid up on the laptop and I saw a small crumb. I started to suck up the crumb with the vacuum hose when the 'G' key pulled right out of the keyboard and was sucked down the hose. That's why I'm out here."

Now, you all know that if I ever did something like that, she would be on my ass 24/7 until I drove somewhere and purchased a 'G' key. But, since 'Little Miss Clean' did it, it's not that big of a deal. So, until I can get to a Gateway Outlet, I have to make sure that I hit the 'G' key when a 'g' is in the word. But, you gotta love the woman. At least I can walk into my basement, knowing that I'm safe from spiders attacking me from ceiling.

A Relaxing Four Days 'Up Norf

2007-07-09T22:17:00.000-04:00

The Fourth of July, Deb and I sat on our deck watching the fireworks that were going off five miles away at the Miller Complex in town. Sipping our favorite drinks, discussing what time in the morning we'd start our four day adventure and the main topic of conversation, how many suitcases Deb would be bringing. It wouldn't have been a problem about the amount of luggage she thinks we need, but since we can't seem to stop the wind noise the straps make holding the kayak down on the top of the Jeep it now rides inside of the Jeep. We've tried everything, twisting the damn straps, putting padding under the bow and stern, EVERYTHING WE COULD THINK OF, but the noise was so bad, people passing us would look over, laugh and cover their ears. What made it even worse was that I fell asleep on the way home despite the noise the last time we took the kayak to the river, and that made Deb CRAZY. So, until a metal rack for the roof is located and we're guaranteed no noise will be heard, the kayak goes in the back.

Thursday-7/5/07 Day One: Steve and Stacey were also going to Mark and Libby's cabin on the Manistee River, so it was only natural that our first stop be Cadillac. We hadn't been there more than five minutes before Debbie and Stacey had a drink in hand, leaving me, bad back and all to unload the Jeep. Thank goodness I arranged the car and knew what was going in on 'Day One'. Steve and the girls arrived and we partied until Deb told me it was time to go to bed.

Friday - 7/6/07 Day Two:

Steve wanted to take his boat out in the morning and when I awoke around ninish, he had the boat ready to go and was waiting for me, a first. After a quick fill up of gas, we arrived at Lake Cadillac and Steve put the boat in the water for the first time this calender year. I stood on the dock as Purr began to prime the 125 hp power house that propels his 17 1/2 foot Four Winds to neck break speeds and turn the key. Something was wrong, it didn't sound right. He tried again and decided to throw a charge to it. Again, nothing. What to do? Think damn it, Think. After a few minutes, Steve returned with the car/trailer and we headed to the battery shop for a new battery ($70). With the boat back in the water, we enjoyed about an hour of boating until the engine suddenly slowed down and we turned around once more and headed in. Headed in that is to O'Neal's Service to get the engine checked out. Once Mr. O'Neal greeted Steve with a hearty handshake and smile, he said it may be the oil pump and the engine would have to be pulled to check it out. Steve mumbled something about raising his clients fees to pay this guy, but at least the boat would be fixed. We were on our way back home, Steve feeling a little better after a rough morning and saying "What the Fock else can happen to me today?" when he received a call that Jamie was in a little fender bender in downtown Cadillac. Off to the scene of the accident we drove. Nothing much happened, Jamie backed into a truck and no one was injured. Well, I guess if you call Steve somewhat losing his mind, injured. After numerous lectures about drivers safety, we headed to Fife Lake, Michigan and the Manistee River to hook up with Mark and Libby for a little partying and 'ca-brewing'.

Day two will continue tomorrow,

I'm tired.

Kick'n Back - The J.E. Way

2007-06-23T04:28:00.000-04:00

OK, the four people that read this shiiiiiit know that I've been off work for the couple of weeks due to my back. I've been bent over so far with pain, that if my shoe laces became untied I could tie them on the run and never miss a step. Deb knew that I was in pain, but she didn't know how much pain I was actually in, until I told her I cancelled my annual golf outing and BBQ that I host for my Parkman Brothers because of it.

Last week, my doctor prescribed Flexeril and believe it or not, my pain is GONE. I can't tell you how great it feels to get up in the morning and not make a hundred different weird ass moaning sounds trying to get out of bed. I don't know if that little miracle pill was the answer, but I'm finally feeling great after suffering for months. My doctor, an ex Chicago Bear wide receiver, insisted that I stay off work, and do nothing but rest. That's great advice if you've got a shiiit load of money, but the grass doesn't stop growing and the bills don't stop coming because I'm hurting. My darling Debbie, bless her heart, said that she would hop on the tractor and mow the yard for me. Bullshiiiiiit! You all know what a stickler I am about my yard and remembering how it looked the one and only time she mowed it sent shivers down my now healing spine. Besides, other chores have to taken care of. Maybe with the doctor's money, he can have his chores taken care of by others, but not me. The outside work continues, but I did take his advice and have rested my back as much as possible along with doing my daily exercises.

The Mag Plant is very attendance crazy and isn't very compassionate when someone takes time off for being ill. With these two weeks off, along with the six months last year with my back, I didn't think I would be in the running for 'Employee of the Year'. I received a call from the H.R. Department telling me that I was 'Invited' to a meeting to discuss my absenteeism last Thursday. Lately they've been on a firing spree and I knew in the back of my mind that I would be standing in line at the Unemployment Office on Monday morning with the rest of the aging losers. At 10:00 a.m. I walked into the Director's Office and two other big shots were there waiting, I thought to crucify me as well. In my mind, they've already dug the hole and were waiting for me to fall in. After forty five minutes of talking, I was told that I was no longer on Afternoons, but would be working Days starting Monday morning. They said that they wanted to make sure that I had a position that required hardly any strain on my back. I smiled all the way out to the car, realizing that I had dodged a bullet.

Debbie was so happy that once again we can be a family, with both of us working normal daylight hours and have the evenings to spend together (she must have been drinking). All I can say is I'm glad I'm still employed, working days and able to get a good nights sleep once again. So what's the first thing I'm going to do on Monday morning when I show up for my new position? Hunt down a friend of mine who is always looking a sub to golf with him at Duck Lake Country Club and play golf for free.

Can life get any better?

Blogging-ly,

J.E.

How I Spent My Memorial Day Long Weekend

2007-05-29T00:34:00.000-04:00

Being on the 'No Life Shift', I cherish my time off and was especially looking forward to maybe having three days away from The Mag Plant From Hell. I never know if I'm working the weekend until the last minute on Friday and I no longer make plans. On Wednesday however when the O.T. is posted, only one cell was running and one assembly station, so having three days off was a sure thing. On Friday, they, the powers that be, added four more machines and two more assembly areas to work on Saturday. Now I haven't had to work a weekend or even one day of a weekend in some time, because someone else was always nailed. But with the added machines, I knew that I would be called upon to 'move the dashboards', it was just meant to be. All afternoon Friday, I stayed clear of the supervisor. On a couple of occasions I could see him glancing at me out of the corner of my eye and immediately headed in the other direction. At 10:50 p.m. and not yet having been approached, I headed to the Shipping Office and hid in their bathroom (baff-room if you live in the inner city or can't speak the King's English). Not a very professional thing to do, but hey, I'm not a professional kind of guy. I washed up and was swiping my time card at precisely 11:00 p.m. Eastern Standard Time and I was GONE and looking forward to three days of relaxation.

Saturday it rained and you know, it didn't bother to me. I was so tired from dodging my boss all night Friday, that I was totally exhausted and just kicked back the entire day, napping, eating and napping. And you know what? Deb didn't give me any shiiiiiit because she was doing the exact same thing. I thought we were going to go out with Joe and Mona for dinner, but apparently they were still busy hauling furniture for Cat. So Deb made a garlic noodle and crab with a 'K' dish and we stayed home and rested some more. Doing nothing for some reason really tired me out.

Sunday, I awoke around 1100 hours and kicked on my favorite TV channel next to Starz, The Golf Channel and ESPN, and watched a landscaping show. Deb was heading over to Jennifer's and they were going out to pick up some material to make curtains, so I decided to go out and start power washing the upper deck. What a mistake that was. It took me almost 6 hours of non-stop work to finish up. Either I'm really particular about my deck or it was really dirty with flying dirt particles from the corn field next to and behind me. Deb came home with lunch and it was back to the deck. After a shopping trip to Charlotte later that evening and dinner, we headed home to watch a movie.

MONDAY - MY LAST DAY OF REST AND RELAXATION. After all, I am a veteran and today is my day, but it was not to be. I thought since it was suppose to be a nice day out, that I'd call up my good buddy Joe and see if he wanted to go out and play a quick nine, but it was not to be. Before I could even tell her my plans for the day, I was informed that the sun was shinning, the dew on the lawn would be gone by the time we returned from the Flower Garden and ready for me to get on my mower and ride. I turned around to see if someone were behind me, because I knew she sure the hell wasn't talking to me. After a trip to the flower shop, gas station and then Felpausch for some steaks for me to grill later, we were back home and my last day of relaxation was over. I had three days of work to do in one. While Deb planted flowers, I mowed, weed whipped, edged 110' of driveway (actually 220' because I had to go back the other way), planted 28 tomato plants, cleaned out the shed and power washed some of my stuff, she finally said "I turned the oven on for some pasty's for lunch. When lunch is ready, bring mine up to me, I'll be in our bedroom resting." After lunch and a little nap, it was right back out there to throw some wood chips around. We finished up in time to take a shower, throw the steaks on the grill, eat and think about going to bed. Both Deb and I worked really hard today, but I heard her say as she headed up stairs "Don't worry about cleaning up the dinner dishes, you can do it tomorrow before you go to work." So how am I finishing up my three days off? I'm in the dungeon watching 'Jaw's II' of a 'Jaws' marathon and eating watermelon.

Memorial Day-ingly,

J.E.

How To Spot An Eaton Rapids Hunter With a DUI

2007-05-10T00:36:00.000-04:00

Wassup? To the four people that read this shiiiiiiit. I was thinking last year during hunting season, that when I was a kid growing up in Detroit during that time of year, not that many years ago, you'd see tons of cars with dead deer strapped to the roof. I haven't seen that as much since leaving the DDDDDDD-troit area 35 years ago. Being young, I was amazed when someone would stop next to my Dad's car with a carcass lashed to it and it's head flipping from side to side on the drivers windshield. Maybe it wasn't as stylish back then to own a pick-up as it is today and just throw the damn thing in the back.

Living here in good ole Eaton Rapids, I don't think I've ever seen anyone driving up or down Main Street with a deer anywhere in sight. Maybe E.R. people don't hunt. Then I started to wonder how a person that was unfortunate enough to have his license suspended for having indulged in one to many, in a one horse, can't do a damn thing, town and also hunted, would get his or her 'kill' back to their digs.

Well, that question was answered to me soon afterwards, when I spotted one of E.R.'s unfortunate residents who bagged his Bambi on opening day, pedaling his ass down Main Street just after leaving Abies Bar. Gotta love this Ho Dunk town. Nothing stops a man on Opening Day or when the golf courses open up.

Just Some Thoughts and a little somethng for 'The House Of Chin'

2007-05-01T11:31:00.000-04:00

With the weather getting warmer, I'm finding that my Blogging time is somewhat limited due all of the outdoor things I enjoying doing. I find myself more interested in heading outdoors to do yard work, working on a new water feature I'm designing, refinishing my bench or just kicking back on my deck until I have to leave and work the No Life Shift at the Mag Plant, which really puts a damper on the things I much rather be doing. I guess I could sum this all up in just four words - I'd rather be golfing. A bad day of golf is better than a good day at the Mag Plant.

Today when I awoke, the sun was shinning and nice breeze was coming through the windows. I dressed and headed outdoors. I got as far as the upper deck and all of a sudden the sun was gone and the black clouds started to appeared. As I headed down towards the horseshoe pits, a huge drop of rain or bird dropping, I'm not sure which, struck me on the top of my head and I was back in the house like stink on shiiiiiiiiiit. "What to do now?" I thought. I've already cleaned the house so my lovely wife could just concentrate on grading papers, so what was there left for me to do but Blog.

During these wicked times of random terrorist attacks on our great land, sky rocketing gas prices and just the everyday B.S. that we encounter, I thought how important my family is to me and the love that we share. Jennifer and Eddie's upcoming wedding, Stephanie coming up with some scheme to get me over to her house to do some chores, and promising me dinner and her famous Strawberry Cake as payment and all the things that we have to look forward to. I don't see my children as much as I'd like, but they are all grown up with things to do themselves. Then I thought of my in-laws, Steve and Stacey and their girls, Tori & Jamie, of Becky and Rick, along with Molly and Kellen. All of them doing well and enjoying life. I thought of the good times we all have when we're together. Even my younger brother in law Scott came to mind and I wondered how he was doing in Austin, TX., so far away from his family and thought of the good times that we had with him when he was back in Michigan

I then thought of Joe and Mona (author of Welcome to the Nuthouse) and how their son Joey just moved back home from Kansas to be closer to his family. And Cathy and her son Tate, returning home to Michigan, because her husband, Maj. Paul, was being deployed next month. And then it hit me, like an epiphany of sorts. Since the Chin's are used to having a house full of people at any given time and I'm Not, I'm sure that they wouldn't hesitate and jump at the chance to have Scotty Russell move in with them. Think of all the possibilities this could bring. He could be a companion for Joey. Help Cathy out by babysitting Tate. Help Mikey with his music and take Mike's band to the top of the charts. Hell, with Scott's help, they could be on the cover of the next Rolling Stone. And, I'm sure that Scott would be so appreciative that he had three hots and a cot, he wouldn't mind bringing Mikey, Andy and Joey into his Auto Care Card business and they could all make money during the summer selling his fraudulent cards. You know, I'm so sure that Mona and Joe will go for this, I'm just going to email Scotty Russell and make all the arrangements for his return. I'm soooooo happy for them all.

Thanks guys.

"What's for dinner and where's your computer?"

I'm Back

2007-04-25T11:53:00.000-04:00

As you know if you've recently been to 'B.S. From J.E.' that I haven't been on for awhile. No, I haven't run out of material, just too busy during the day with outside work since the weather has been beautiful and going to bed early once I get home from 'Magnesium Products from Hell'. You may think driving a forklift is a gravy job, and it is a hell of a lot better than standing in one place putting a screw in a piece of metal or grinding a part every 18 seconds, while another part is already there waiting and you're falling behind with people screaming at you to keep up. But, I'm moving from one end of the plant to the other, constantly moving dashboards and other items and dodging employees that stray into the 'Forbidden Yellow Line Zone' meaning the forklift path. Haven't hit anyone yet, but damn near took the boss out last night when he foolishly walked out from behind a rack without looking, either not hearing the sound of me honking the horn or just completely worn out from the long hours he puts in. The work isn't physical, but quick paced and as you all know, I'm not a quick paced kind of guy.

Two days ago, as I was leaving for work, I was upstairs and noticed History-History Hall crashed in our bed. I thought to myself, I think I'll give him a pat on the head and wake his furry ass up like he does to me every morning by putting his wet nose on my nose. I started to rub his head and he lifted up and cried out like he does when he's hurt. After further examination, I noticed that his ear was sliced completely open, AGAIN. Yeah, you guessed it, he once again got his furry ass kicked by some other cat or a mammal while prowling the fields he calls his own. I called Deb to let her know and once she arrived home, took him to the vet who confirmed my thoughts. He shaved him to check out the wound and gave him a shot and some medication. So now, I get to wake Deb up when I get home from work and she gets to wake me up in the morning before she leaves for work to give History his meds like a little kid. Since he loves being outside, he's going 'Meow Crazy' going to each door of the house, wanting to get out and driving me crazy with the constant meowing. So now instead of being History-History Hall the bravest cat of all, he's History-History Hall, the stupidest cat of all. But, he'll heal up fine, roam his fields and medows and in a few months come home beaten to shit again.

I love this time of year, the leafs are starting to appear on the trees, flowers are starting to bloom and the smell of the freshly cut lawns is in the air. I have the deck furniture out on all three levels of my deck, although I'll have to remove it all in a couple of weeks when I begin to power wash, which brings me to another item. I'm having what will now be known as 'Jim's Annual Deck Staining Party.' Everyone is welcome to participate and I'm even going to provide some 'White Castle Sliders' to feed you for your effort. What more can one ask for? Sign up quickly, the list is growing.

Winter Golf with my Buds

2007-04-19T11:03:00.000-04:00

The Parkman Brothers-Minus One

The Parkman Brothers, minus one, met for a 10:30 tee time last Saturday at Reddeman Farms in Chelsea, MI. for the first of many golf outings we do every year. If any of you can remember back five days to last weekend, it was COLD, windy and cloudy and not the type of weather one would go out and play golf in, no matter how much of a Golf Ho you are. But, the 'Hos From The Hood' were there, dressed for the elements and ready to play. Although there was some talk about blowing it off and partying for a while, we manned up and took the plunge. I mentioned to the person behind the counter in the club house that they should have carts with a wind break attached and to my surprise, the lady said, "We have ONE out there." That was all it took. You saw nothing but asshole and elbows from me as I made a dash out the door for the cart, snatching my bag on the fly.

We intended to play 18, but after the front nine, one of us, or actually all of us said the 'F' word followed by 'This' and we packed up the clubs and headed to Stiver's Bar/Restaurant just down the road off I-94 for some lunch and long over due catching up. The laughter was endless and the time flew by. It actually turned out to be a somewhat decent day and shooting a 43 for nine the first time out this year, put some hope in me that it was going to be 'My Year'. Of course, I say that every time I shoot well the first time out and it never happens, although I do come home with more money than I left with. Suckers!

I didn't get to sleep until around 4:00 a.m. Friday night, or I should say Saturday morning and I had to get up at 8:00 a.m., somehow get myself awake and then drive an hour to the golf course and freeze my ass off. When I did get home around 7:00 p.m., my lovely wife had the house spotless, as usual and was in the process of grading papers. I briefly gave her the 3x5 version of the day's events, went straight to the dungeon, flopped in my recliner, turned on a game and instantly crashed out for a couple of hours. When I awakened, guess who wanted to go shopping? She said I didn't have to go, but we spend so little time together, I felt it was my obligation to go and please her. But, I did run into Mona at Meijer along with Catie while I was looking for something.

The weekend is suppose to be beautiful and we're invited to Cadillac to party with Steve and Stacey, but I will probably have to work. But, I will be getting in a round prior to heading in, that is if Deb lets me.

Easter Sunday - 2007

2007-04-08T09:32:00.000-04:00

I haven't written anything in quite awhile for reasons we all know. But, life goes on and I know Karen would have wanted me to continue writing B.S. FROM J.E. We all miss her and love her, especially Uncle Jim.

Anyone seen the Easter Bunny?????

The one thing I love about Easter is, I'm off for three days, well two days anyway. I figure that one of the days, I'll be helping Debbie clean and do the running that she wants done. I'm glad that I not only married the woman who has rocked my world for 37 years, but also someone that keeps a clean ass house. So in all reality, I shouldn't say I'll be helping her clean, I'll just be doing a little PICKING UP.

I planned to do several chores this weekend and the main chore was re-caulking my bathroom shower off the family room. It came out nicely, even if I have to say so myself and the swearing was kept to a minimum which not only surprised Deb, but me as well. Now, I'm in the process of re-designing the entire bathroom or 'baff-room' if you're a student in Deb's third grade class, and make it look a little more 'Manly' than it is. I took her to Menards a few weeks ago and was shocked when I showed her the floor tile I wanted to install along with other ideas I had, and she agreed with every one of them. I must have caught her at the right moment and wish I had it on tape in case she starts to give me shiiiiiit over it later on. But, this will be probably a summer project, if I have any spare time left over from golfing, kayaking, playing horse shoes and just plain relaxing my old ass on my deck.

The girls and Eddie, our future son in law, came over for Easter dinner and like always, Deb fixed her family a wonderful meal. She makes Martha Stewart look like an amateur in my eyes. I suggested taking the clan to the Sheridan for an Easter Brunch instead of her having to cook, but you know who nixed the idea, saying that it wouldn't be the same. Hell, I'm not cooking, so didn't matter to me and I saved a 'Benjamin' or two by having dinner here

When the girls were little, they had something like 50 Easter baskets a piece, but now that they're all grown up, we whittled it down to one. On Easter monring, Jennifer could always find her baskets within minutes, but Stephanie could never find all of hers and the rule was, Until every basket was found, no one was allowed to eat their Easter treats. Jennifer was always patient, trying to help her little sister and once the last of her baskets were discovered, they'd dig in and have chocolate all over their face and hands. Cute, but a hell of a mess. Now that Eddie will soon be a member of the family, he has his own basket. Deb wanted to hide them, but I reminded her that Steph still isn't skilled enough at finding hers and besides, we all might want to eat dinner some time today. So it's now official, basket hiding has now been eliminated until we have Grand Children running around raising hell and making Grandpa take them out and buy things.

In my next blog, I'll tell you about how my good buddy, ESPN golf commentator and Professional Senior Golfer, Gary McCord, keeps calling me at all hours begging for a lesson. It's gotten so bad that I've had to unplug my phones. Now, he's emailing me constantly and has even gone so far as to offer me money if my Parkman Brothers and I let his sorry ass go on our next golf outing. I'll tell you more in the next one of these things.

Happy Easter to the four people that read this shiiiiiiiiit.

Home Alone, Again

2007-03-24T11:44:00.000-04:00

The weekend is here and once again, I didn't have to work. Deb said I should enjoy the time I have off now, because when I was on the 'floor' early in my magnesium die casting career days, I worked 76 straight days without a day off and then was graciously given ONE day to relax and try to accomplish something I enjoyed. So, today I thought Deb and I would spend the day together making up for lost time during the week. Maybe go to Menards or Lowes to pick up some things Ive been wanting and then some dinner and a movie, but that wasn't meant to be. I probably see her maybe fifteen minutes a week because of my shift and I actually miss not being with her. I forgot that today was the day she and her sister Becky (the Glover Queen) traveled to Pinckney for a baby shower for one of their cousins daughter and she will be gone most of the day.

Years ago when she would be gone for the entire day or even an hour for that matter, I was out the door before she was a mile down the road. But, not anymore. Must be an age thing. Hell, I would be consuming my favorite beverage at my favorite watering hole, playing golf or just blowing off the day and not accomplishing a damn thing. I guess getting trashed was accomplishing something, but wasn't getting me any points with the little woman. I was disappointed that she wasn't going to be home, but than I thought, I'll surprise her by doing the chores around the house that she would normally do and maybe go out this evening after she'd rested up from partying with the relatives she never sees and playing baby games all afternoon.

Knowing Deb, you know what a stickler she is on house cleaning and no matter how hard I try and how good of a job I do, it just isn't the same as when she does it. Do you know anyone that has ever taken the vacuum into the basement and sucked out cobwebs from the rafters? I never did until I married her. And, I've never seen a cobweb in the basement at all. I've never looked, but maybe there might be a stray web or two somewhere down there, but I doubt it. Not that she isn't appreciative of the work I do around here, but she once walked into the bedroom after I made the bed, looked at it and smoothed out a wrinkle on the bedspread. Is that sick or what? Was that a Princess and the Pea thing?

Now I don't want to pat myself on the back, but if I don't, no one else will. These are just a few of the things I did today while the little woman was out doing whatever they do at baby showers.

1. Drove to town and picked up ingredients to make Stacy's Northern Macaroni and Cheese.
(If you'd like the recipe, give me a buzz, it's great)

2. Cleaned/dusted/vacuumed and picked up the entire house.

3. Swept and washed the kitchen/dining room floor (on my hands and knees no less).

4. Changed the oil in my tractor and it's now ready ease my yard work burdens.

5. Washed and folded three (3) loads of clothes.

6. Played with History

7. Started picking up debris from the yard.

8. Watched golf.

9. Began to design a water feature that will look like a mountain stream with underwater lighting. This will also double as a barrier on the middle deck instead of a railing, so my idiot friends won't step off of it and sue me. This will be a major project, but will look so cool when I'm finished. Here's a few pics to prove I did something. If I'm lying, I'm dying.

I love spring time and with the weather so nice out today, I sat out on the deck (between chores) looking out at the field as the deer were wandering out of the woods and wild turkey were walking around. But, along with the warm weather comes added work and pushing the ripe old age of 60, I may need some help with one project that I have to do. Check your calender and make a note, that around the end of May, once I power wash the decks, I'll be throwing a 'Deck Staining Party' and you're all welcome to attend. Hell, I'll supply everything and even feed your ass as well. It doesn't get any better than that. Now you may be asking yourself, "What is J.E. going to do tomorrow since he's worked his old ass off all day?" Well, if the weather's as nice as it was today, I'll be playing 18 and then kick'n back on the deck, listening to some Classic Rock and sipping Iced Tea and thinking, it's good to be alive and living on Boody (Highway, that is).

Does My Wife Cook For Me or What?????

2007-03-21T12:22:00.000-04:00

Working afternoons is really throwing my off eating habits. I was used to having great meals prepared by my lovely wife at night when I came home from work. Now, there's a different scenario here at the House Of J.E. Deb doesn't cook like she used to since I'm not home in the evenings and if she decides to cook something great for dinner, I'm treated with fantastic leftovers when I get home. One night, she prepared one of my favorite dishes, Chicken with Mushroom sauce over rice and I ate like a king for dinner and lunch the following day. Some nights, she has a steak thawed out for me to grill or cook and other times it's up to me to fend for myself.

Like last night, she said that she had prepared some BBQ boneless ribs for me and made a cherry pie. All night, I could envision munching on a huge rib sandwich smothered in BBQ sauce and a slice or two of cherry Pie to top it off. But, when I walked in the door I didn't smell the aroma of ANYTHING. To my surprise, there was a note on the counter saying that my ribs were in the freezer and the pie was on the side counter. Apparently, Deb and one of her favorite pastry friend, Mrs. Smith, worked feverishly into the evening to make me a pie, and my boneless BBQ rib sandwich was in a box to microwave. But, I wasn't upset about it (too much). She works all day herself and it's a chore to think of things to cook for herself and me for later in the evening. I really don't expect her to have some tasty morsel for me to eat when I come home, but come on, a $0.99 BBQ Rib Sandwich in a box.

After waking up today at 11:30, I thought I'd make something tasty for lunch, but didn't want to start making something that would take an hour or longer, so after scouring the freezer, I ended up with, you guessed it, something frozen again.

Deb mentioned me the other night that she was really in the mood for some fish and had picked up some Cod to cook for me tonight when I got home, and if she were sleeping all I'd have to do is re-heat it in the oven. While retrieving one of the 5 for $5 Totino's Pizza from the freezer, I thought I'd take the fish out and get the thawing process started. I looked high and low and didn't see the Cod she was talking about and then I spotted it. Can you picture the expression on my face when I bent over and picked up the Cod she was so anxious to have.

Now that my stomach is full, I should stop writing and get my lunch box packed for work. Have I also mentioned that because of the 'Frozen Food Diet', I've lost almost 30 pounds? Now I'll be able bend over the golf ball when I play.

Hide and Seek (sort of)

2007-03-20T00:44:00.000-04:00

As you all know, I'm not much of a hunter of wild game, although I have been forced to go out a few times. I just don't like to kill, hurt or wound some defenseless animal that's done nothing to me personally or have threatened my family in any way, except that raccoon of course. I just don't get off sitting in a tree waiting for a mammal to cross my path and then blast the shiiiiiiit out of it. I'm a D-troit boy, born and breed. When we carried a gun, it was used for one thing and one thing only, to bust a cap in yo sorry ass, plain and simple. You didn't see my friends in the 'Hood' suit up for Opening Day. Hell No! We were still playing football at Ellis Park on 11/15 of every year. When we went looking for 'Fresh Meat', it was of the two legged variety.

While Deb and I were up Norf over the weekend, I went into town between games to check out a kayak I'm thinking about buying at Jay's Sporting Goods. While in there, I was browsing the store and overheard two hunters next to the camouflage clothing. They were saying how they are 99.99% invisible to the little varmints they hunt and that got me thinking.

No matter where I hide in the house when Debbie has work for me to do, she finds me. I even hid in the garage rafters one afternoon to avoid her, but she sniffed me out somehow. So on a whim, I purchased a pair of lightweight camouflage pants, a shirt, hat and gloves. Then on the way home, I stopped at JoAnn Fabric and picked up a bolt of material that was a pretty close match my earlier purchase. Arriving back at the cabin, I hid my things in the Jeep and went inside and continued to party with my relatives. It was the WEEKEND.

Earlier today (Monday) Deb had a dentist appointment and said before she left, that she had some 'chores' for me to do, but wanted me to wait until she got home to 'instruct' me. I wasn't about to let that happen and I had to work fast, so I put my plan in motion. I took the bolt of fabric and headed to the family room and recovered the couch. She hardly ever goes into the dungeon and doubt she's even aware what color material is on the couch. She said she'd be back around noon and time was running out. I then slipped into my new duds, kicked on a movie and waited for her to return.

I heard the garage door open and I jumped on the couch. She walked into the kitchen and instantly started calling me. I heard her up in the bedrooms, "Jim?" Then the living room, the dinning room and kitchen, "Jim?" Hell, I even heard her open the door to the garage and say, "You better not be hiding up in those rafters again." Then the true test came. I was as still as I could be, trying not to breath or move. "The Ass left the T.V. on again." I heard her say, as she stood directly in front of me. "Where the hell is he?, I'll find that loafing poor excuse of a man I married, twice."

It was working, I was invisible. But, I couldn't resist screwing with her for a little bit. I started making little animal noises and she lost it. She spun around the room trying to spot the intruder and with speed of which I've never seen from her, she was up the stairs into a 'safe zone'. I just laid there with a smile on my face, watching the T.V. she never turned off. I did hear her say from up stairs that no hiding place would ever escape her and she'd hunt me down like the dog I was. Now I just hope I don't snore.

St. Patty's Day Up Norf

2007-03-18T16:47:00.000-04:00

With the weekend off, Da-Bra-Less and I headed Norf to Gaylord for a little relaxation at Becky Sue Teel's, along with Steve and Stacey. We couldn't leave until Saturday morning, but it was a nice drive with very little traffic to negotiate on I-75. The cruise control was set on 85 mph and with Deb behind the wheel, maneuvered the Jeep effortlessly down the highway. It was St. Patrick's Day and we anticipated going out for the evening with the 'Fam' for some good ole Irish cooking, a shiiiiit load of drinks (Iced Tea for J.E) at the local Irish Pub in Gaylord. And after tearing up the town, some long over due partying back at the cabin.

Becky, Steve and Stacey had already started partying without us at a neighbor's across the street and were heading back to the cabin when we arrived. I managed to carry up all the suitcases Debbie brought for a one nighter, as she managed to bring in the pillows she brought. It was great seeing everyone, and it's been a couple of months since we've all gotten together. I was even more pleased when Becky asked me if I wanted to 'Pick some Clover'. And why not, it was a day for celebration. I was amazed with the weather as cold as it's been up Norf, that she was able to grow such a nice crop. Instead of heading to the Pub as we thought for dinner, Becky surprised everyone with some St. Patrick Day Enchiladas' and other assorted Irish goodies to go with the St. Patrick Day's theme.

March Madness was in the air and we ate, laughed, watched the games and ate some more. At halftime of the Spartan game, we gathered up the drinks and headed across the street to party with a neighbor and finish up watching my beloved Spartans lose. I was disappointed, but the Wings were on next and that took away my pain for a little while. After a couple more hours of laughter and stories of the younger days growing up at the cabin, we headed back across the street to the cabin for a bedtime snack of, you guessed it, Enchiladas.

I hated to get up this morning and head home, but it was worth the drive Norf to be with family and friends. We need to do this more often, the clock is ticking the batteries are running out of juice. I'm glad that I have had such a wonderful family to party with for 36 years. I couldn't ask for a better family to marry into. You guys are the best and I love you all.

It's Finally Finished and Up

2007-03-11T19:53:00.000-04:00

"Deb", I said, as I was coming up from the basement into the 'Dungeon' carrying the project I described in a previous blog, "I'm ready to start hanging this and if you want to come down and 'SUPERVISE' my measuring, feel free." "Don't even think of starting without me." I heard her say as she hauled ass from the living room, "You' know you can't read a tape measure and you'll have it hung cockeyed and they're be holes all over the wall except where they're suppose to be. Don't you remember what happened when you put that dresser together?"

"You're so full of shiiiiiiiiit." I said softly. "What did you say, Jim?" She yelled back. "I said, you're right, I'll have to admit." I said, please with my quick comeback. "Hurry up, golf is on in twenty minutes. and I want to watch the final round, have something to eat and kick back. Then I'll finish up taking the Christmas lights down like you wanted. What are you going to do today?" Her response frighten me when I heard her say, "Probably just help you clean my car or just rest." Thinking fast on my feet, I said "Just rest and enjoy the day, Hon, I'll take care of EVERYTHING." After measuring a couple of times, the wall hanging went up nicely and looked good, or as I always say, good enough for who it's for. She filled it with plants, stood back and and said, "Nice job, I'll think of something else you can make me." How lucky can one guy be?

The day was beautiful and I was finally able to get outside and do some of the outside tasks I've been putting off because of the cold weather. Finally all the Christmas lights and decorations are off the house and put away and with Debbie off my back for a few hours, I managed to catch 40 winks in my recliner while she was busying herself upstairs working on a poster for her classroom. "What are you making Deb, a flag?", I asked rubbing the sleep out of my eyes. "It's a poster of The Cat In The Hat." she beamed, as she rolled up another piece of paper and glued it on cardboard. "Looks like a flag to me." I said and grabbed bag of chips and retreated to the 'Dungeon' for a golf update and a little more shut eye. Damn, I love the weekends.

Please Help

2007-03-11T00:06:00.000-05:00

I don't usually do this, but I felt the need to share this with my fellow bloggers. Although Deb and I no longer have a dog, I know that some of my loyal readers own Chihuahuas and because of that, this story really hit home.

I know most of you are dog lovers and will help this poor woman. Our neighbor has lost her Chihuahua and is desperate to find him. She does a lot of traveling and always takes her dog Max with her. Yesterday, she was sitting on the couch watching TV and she called for Max, but he didn't heed her command as usual. She continually called out for her puppy and then noticed the back door was open. Max is 3 yrs old and an inside dog and she is frantic. She has been putting up signs everywhere around the Eaton Rapids and Charlotte area in hopes that someone would spot the little fellow. If you see this dog, please let me know and I will notify her immediately. Your help would be greatly appreciated.

"Jim, Build This For Me, TODAY!"

2007-03-04T17:13:00.000-05:00

"Jim, I saw a cool wall hanging in a magazine and decided I want you to make it for me. It's a mirrored window flower box made out of wood, and I want to hang it on the family room wall?" I heard Deb say as I was kick'n back in my recliner, sipping my favorite beverage, munching on snacks and watching a little golf. "You know" I retorted, "I'd love to do that for you Sweetheart, but as you can see, I'm sitting here in a shiiiiiiiit load of pain. That's why you bought me a magnetic wrap around heated back brace isn't it, to sit here and relax? Haven't you noticed I've been hunched over like an 80 year old man, or do you think I've just looking for something I dropped for the past eight months? And besides, I don't have the wood necessary to build a project of that magnitude." "Sure you do." she said, "And besides, you've rested long enough."

"I went into the basement," she continued, "and up in the supports there was wood enough to build a shed. So, I took the liberty of taking some different sizes down and laying them on your tool bench. I believe you have enough material there to build what I want, and I've even drawn up a rough sketch for you to go by. It will give you something to do to take you mind off all the pain you claim you're having. By the way, I'm not feeling well, so I'm going upstairs to take a nap. I also took some paint out and want you to paint it the same color as you did on the lower family room wall. Oh yeah by the way, don't wake me and Good Luck."

I walked down to the basement and surer than hell, there's different types of wood lying on my tool bench along with a drawing that looked like chicken scratching that resembled a window. No measurements, just a drawing a 2 yr. old would do. There were some 2x4's, a couple of 1x6's, a small piece of plywood, and some oak molding I used for the upstairs bathroom four years ago. Apparently, she thought I would be able to put all these different size pieces into a box, say some magic words, and Waa La, wood for a window frame would miraculously appear. After studying her dimensionless 'sketch', I went into the garage, found some lumber I was going to use for something else, and 'The Project' was a go. First the frame, then the mirror and finally the flower box portion. My creation, or I should say hers, was taking shape and looking pretty close to her meaningless doodling.

Finally, after a few hours, her scribbling was starting to become a reality and wasn't looking bad, even if I have to say so myself. It's been a couple of years since I've done any woodworking and I was somewhat apprehensive about starting this project, but glad I did. I still have to do a couple of small details to finish up, but it will be completed by tomorrow. If I didn't need her help putting it up on the wall, I'd surprise her with it, but you know Deb. She'll be there as usual to supervise and I welcome it (sometimes). But, why should she care, she never goes into the family room anyway and lovingly calls it the Dungeon. So now you're probably asking yourselves, "What's the next 'Project' J.E. will be doing, now that he is back in the crafts game?" Well, a wrap around tree bench by the horseshoe pits for one, a deck and French doors off our upstairs bedroom, a flowerbox/fountain on the middle deck where the hot tub is scheduled to go. But as you and I both know, it will be WHATEVER THE HELL DEB TELLS ME. I'll be sure and add a pic of the completed project to my next post, when it's up on the wall of the Dungeon, filled and flowing with foilage.

Just to be on the safe side though when you come over, I wouldn't sit underneath it, JUST IN CASE.

Can't Seem To Get Away

2007-03-01T12:39:00.000-05:00

One thing I want to do is get the hell away from Eaton Rapids, if only for the day. These afternoons are kicking my ass and even though I'm off this weekend, I thought a little trip down the Grand River, away from E.R. town would be just what the doctor ordered. With the kayak shoved through the sunroof of the Honda, I set sail, or I should say Kayak, on a chilly wintry day. I was looking forward to viewing all the wonderful sites along the banks of the seldom used Grand River and getting away from the only Eaton Rapids On Earth if only for a few hours.

Years ago, 'The Mighty Grand' as it was known to the local inhabitants, was the only means other than horseback, to get to the quaint little town of Eaton Rapids. Traveling back in time, you'd see Indians and settlers alike sitting along the banks of the Grand, smoking the 'peace pipe' and drinking 'Fire Water', something the locals still do today, minus the Indians of course, unless they're from Cleveland.

I paddled for what seemed like hours without seeing a living sole, with the exception of an occasional bird and the splash of a carp. As I maneuvered my yellow craft around boulders and fallen trees, enjoying the solidute of the day, something caught me eye. My first thought was deer, coming out of the woods to drink at the waters edge, but then I heard a sound I thought I recognized, a truck. Beaching my craft, I walked the snow covered banks to the plateau above hoping that I was wrong and then realizing I wasn't.

I never left town.

Waking The Sleeping Monster

2007-02-26T11:08:00.000-05:00

What a peaceful, restful weekend I had until this morning around 6:00 a.m. We went to bed early last night and like most Monday's, Deb had one of her 'Early Morning Meetings' and had set the alarm for a 5:15 a.m. wake up call.

We have a ritual here at the 'House of Hall'. Every morning when Deb's alarm goes off, I immediately roll over on her side of the bed, History comes in, cuddles under my chin and we both fall back asleep until I wake up later in the morning to start my day.

But this morning was a little different.......

As usual, the alarm went off, History came in and we fell back asleep, but this morning we were awaken to the sound of Debbie screaming "DAMN-IT JIM! GET DOWN HERE, NOW." Concerned that maybe something was wrong with her car, I came down stairs and she was standing in the kitchen next to the door leading into the garage. "What's the matter?" I asked, still sleepy eyed. "The 'Monster', she said, is sleeping in History's basket and I'm afraid to go into the garage." She cracked the door open a little, and if History weren't standing next to me at the time, I would have sworn it was him in there. The 'Monster' was curled up and crashed out in History's sleeping basket we keep for him on the landing in the garage, in case we're gone and he is out on the prowl.

"Kill It!" she screamed, as I re-opened the door and looked at it sleeping peacefully. "With What? Can't you see I'm standing here in my boxers. Being the protective husband I am, I left, returning moments later with my camera. "I wanted you to get a gun, not your camera." Are you planning on taking pictures of it until it dies of old age?" The only weapon available to me at that moment in time was a broom handle, and I immediately whacked it on top of the head to get it's attention. The 'Monster' looked up at me, nonchalantly stretched and slowly made its way off the landing, crawling under a table we have in there, while knocking things over as it made a slow retreat.

"What are you going to do NOW?" I heard her yell as she bolted for her car at the speed of light, and avoiding eye contact with the beast.......

Baby, It's COLD Inside

2007-02-23T13:01:00.000-05:00

"You're going to be quite cold today." I heard Deb say as she was drying off from taking her shower this morning. "What the hell are you talking about? Do you think I'm too stupid to turn the heat up when I get up? Please turn down the heat before you leave, shut both doors to the bedroom so History doesn't come in and I'll call you tonight." "I'll shut the doors, she said, "but it won't matter if you turn it up or not, because YOU FORGOT TO CHECK THE PROPANE LEVEL IN THE TANK LIKE I ASKED YOU TO DO TWO WEEKS AGO AND I BELIEVE WE'RE OUT."

So, after going to sleep around 4:00 a.m., I was up at 6:30 a.m. dressed in my warmest attire and outside in the freezing weather checking the propane level which indeed turned out to be ZERO. Promptly at 7:00 a.m., I was on the phone with the propane people setting up a fill for today. Not really a big deal, but there is a five day fill period. But to get gas TODAY, I have to pay an extra $159.00. I believe they refer to that as an 'Asshole Charge'. No need to argue with them, they have you by the short and curlies, just suck it up, call yourself an A-Hole and make the best of a bad situation. But, as I sit here in sweat pants, sweat shirt, wool cap and wrapped up in my MSU blanket, I can't help but wonder if the propane people will get here before I have to leave for work. Not because I'm cold as shiiiiiiiit, but because when Deb comes home, she won't have any heat either until the pilot on the furnace is re-lite and also the hot water tank. Talk about a role reversal. She'll be the one bundled up and I'll be the one in a warm building. But, she's a survivor and can handle it until I get home tonight and then we'll heat the house up and then promptly turn the heat down to go to sleep. I love living in the country, except for the propane. So, now I was smart enough to put reminders on my computer calendar to send me email alerts EVERY TWO WEEKS TO CHECK THE PROPANE LEVEL. It won't need checking for a couple of months, but burn me once, shame on me, burn me three times (yeah, it's happened three times before) shame on me again.

Well, it's now 2:10, they haven't arrived, so I'm out of here.

Will I Have To Work This Weekend????

2007-02-22T12:44:00.000-05:00

The main question that is on my mind these days is "Will I have to work again this weekend"? Hell, who knows, who cares. I never know until Wednesday when the Overtime Schedule is put up and that isn't always a given either. I thought I was suppose to be off last weekend, but was told on Friday evening about an hour before I was to leave and enjoy two days off with my lovely wife, that I had to work. Yesterday, I looked at the O.T. schedule and it looks like I'll be free this weekend, but once again, WHO KNOWS, it changes from hour to hour.

I don't know about you, but I really hate this time of year in Michigan. My life growing up in Detroit or I should say the 'outskirts' of D-troit, were filled with fun and adventure. Skiing with my friends, pick-up hockey games in the park and hanging out afterwards at one house or another. But now, I don't even want to go outside in this crap. I long for the weather to warm up so I can get outside, dressed in something other than my Carharts, boots and gloves. I'm so looking forward to heading out with kayak on the roof of the car, wind whipping against the straps and making the most ungodly noise you've ever heard, as we head down the highway at 75 mph and driving Debbie nuts.

I really look forward to spending time at Steve and Stacey's place on Lake Huron and the great views of Lake Huron, the beautiful Michigan sunsets, walking along the beach and of course, the great times that we share.

I also look forward to golfing with my grade school Buds on our impromptu golf outings. And, how can I forget the Annual In-Law Golf and Party Weekend with Stacey and Becky at the end of April. The weather up Norf is always iffy at that time of year, but we play anyway and party afterwards. Actually, we party while we play.

But, what do I have to look forward to until Nature awakens from her wintry hibernation?

AREN'T MICHIGAN WINTERS GRAND????

I believe this is at Marsh Ridge on the 452 yd. par 4. How the hell do I play this shot?

Must Be Nice To Have Presidents Day Off

2007-02-19T12:04:00.000-05:00

Sure, I was off for six months last year because of my back, but that was in the past and unlike 'SOMEONE' in my family, I DON'T LIVE IN THE PAST. But, talking about it would be bringing up the past and I'm not a 'Past' person.

My lovely wife Deb is off today because of Presidents Day and she keeps rubbing it in. How many times can a person hear in a singing/laughing tone, "I'm off today and you're not." before one loses it completely? I tried to explain to her that if I were a State worker or a teacher like herself, I'd have it off also, but was happy she able to stay home and relax. Today, she's been prancing around the house most of the morning dancing and chanting "I'm off today and you're not. I'm off today and you're not." Being above the kid games, I blew off her childlike rants and went to work, somewhat upset because once again, she was off and I wasn't.

Like the good husband I am, I called her later in the evening to see if she was enjoying her day off and to my surprise, she apologized for her taunting and said that she would make it up to me with a nice dinner and also be dressed for a fun evening when I came home. I can't tell you the thoughts that went through my head, but I was thinking about the great time I'd have when I got home later in the evening.

Time seemed to stand still and the minutes seemed like hours, as I continuously waited for the clock strike 11:00 P.M. and I was finally free. The six mile drive home seemed even longer as the Honda, ever so smoothly negotiated the winding curves of the back roads it's traveled so many times before. Crazy thoughts were going through my mind, "What kind of great meal did she prepare for my dinner? What would my lovely wife be wearing as she anxiously awaited 'Her Man' to come home ? And, what would be the first words out of her lovely mouth as I tiredly walked through the door?

Walking through the door and into the living room, I heard, in a cooing voice, "Hey, Big Boy, I'll be down in a minute." "Sure is Baby." I said, wildly anticipating something wonderful was about to happen me. To my surprise, she came down stairs and the first words out of her mouth were, "I was off today and you weren't. I was off today and you weren't. I've already eaten, take out a frozen pizza for your meal, I"m going to bed. Have a nice night!"

Deb Say's I Need A Hobby

2007-02-17T12:16:00.000-05:00

Well, it's the weekend once again I should be up at Lake State enjoying the weekend with my niece. Our niece, Tori Lee, invited Deb and I up to party with her and her Mom and Dad who are there for a visit also. Unfortunately, I have to work. But, last night I was informed that my schedule had changed and I now I only have to work on Sunday. A long drive for only a day of enjoyment. With Jennifer getting married in September, I figure the O.T. will help pay the expenses that will be incurred and we can always get together with the family at a later and of course, warmer time.

The other night while bitching to Deb, about how I have zero time during the day to do anything, she mentioned that I should maybe take up a hobby to entertain myself at night when I came home. I told her I have one, but she informed me that 'kick'n back' and watching t.v. really wasn't what she was talking about. So, I started browsing the web for some exciting things that I might enjoy doing when I come home at night. Of course, everything I found interesting and thought I'd enjoy doing would cost thousands in start-up money.

Being winter with a shiiiiiiit load of snow on the ground, I thought, "What can I do that won't cost me a thing and will get me back in shape for the start of golf season which by the way is just around the cornor?" And then it hit me, Swimming! Deb immediately informed me that the pool at the High School wasn't open that late at night and to think of something else. But knowing me, I wasn't about to let that one small detail stop me. Was she surprised when she looked outside and found me frolicking in Nature's wintry pool, enjoying my new hobby.

How Life Should Be

2007-02-13T18:12:00.000-05:00

I think the life cycle is all backwards.You should start out dead; just get it right out of the way.

You wake up in a senior care facility and start feeling better every day.

You get kicked out of there for being too healthy, go collect your pension, then, when you start work, you get a gold watch and a hell of a party on your first day.

Then, you work 30 years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You drink, you party, you're promiscuous and then you get ready for High School.

After High School, you go to Junior High, then Grade School. You become a kid, you play or nap all day and you have no responsibilities.

You become a baby with no cares whatsoever.

Then, you spend the last 9 months of your life floating peacefully with luxuries like central heating, spa treatments, room service on tap and larger living quarters everyday ... And finally ...

You finish off as an orgasm!

It would be so much better that way ... Because this getting old ....

Just sucks!

Some Say Blogging Is Gay

2007-02-08T13:37:00.000-05:00

Most of you who know me, know that my neighborhood buddies from the Hood in Detroit of 50+ years and I still get together from time to time and get in several rounds of golf each year even though we all live in different parts of the state. One trip, being the 'Annual Up North Blowout' is the best. Even though it takes several emails and phone calls to get a date that is suitable for everyone, we all seem to adjust our schedules to go on this one. We golf, party and spend a shiiiiiit load of cash, but we have a great time and the laughter is endless. We even have a 'Death Flask' (pictured resting in the skull) which we religiously take a pull from prior to every game, to celebrate our long friendship and mainly the fact that all of us ARE STILL WARMER THAN DIRT.

Being the good Parkman Brother that I am (our grade school was Parkman Elementary) I sent the bsfromje address to my Bros and the responses I received were anything but complimentary. One said it was a Gay Thang and I need to Man Up. They also said I probably had a spot on My Space as well, and the other statements I dare not even print. But, what do I care? Hell NO! I've been tearing them up in my other column, 'Shitter Talk with The Ball' for a couple of years. and I guess paybacks are hell. Of course, that is written only for the Parkman Brother peruse. They can hoot on me for 'blogging' all they want, cause I'll still be taking their cash at the end of every round. This year however, the wagers will be going up and I'll be coming home with a fatter wallet than before. I still love those guys, in a manly way of course.

Kinda Kick'n Back On Saturday

2007-02-04T12:42:00.000-05:00

I really look forward to the weekends and not just because I don't have to go into work. Well, yes that's why, but mostly because I can do all the chores and little things I wasn't able to do during the week. If I could get myself on a schedule during the week and get up at a decent hour instead noon, I would be able to complete most of the tasks I had planned and would also have the weekends free for Deb and I to spend time together since we really don't see each other during the week. But, by the time I wake up and my body starts moving correctly, it's time for 'Days of Our Lives' and then leave for work.

Yesterday, Deb and Jennifer were going to shop for a wedding dress and before she left, told me that I only had one chore and one chore only to complete and that was putting together another dresser that she purchased for Jennifer. Being a Sauder Man from way back with at least 50+ dressers/cabinets and computer desks under my belt, I knew that it would be a cinch to put this together, AND IT WAS, THE SECOND TIME AROUND. I had put together another one two weeks prior and I learned my lesson well. Deb had purchased one for her earlier and then decided that she would need another one and it was MY JOB to assemble it, again. Years ago, Sauder used what I called the 'Pound In Place' locking devices, but when I started on the first dresser, I discovered all of that had changed and they had converted to plastic clip mechanisms and tongue in grove construction. DIRECTIONS REQUIRED! I could tell you of the hours of hell I went through with the first one, but the swearing would take up most of the page. The second one however was a breeze and I had it completed within 2 hours. Whoever came up with this new idea was a genius. Unfortunately for me, I have to take the first dresser almost completely apart because I put the top on backwards. Hey, shiiiiiiiiiit happens. With my one and only chore completed, I kicked back, enjoyed a little golf on the tube, followed by some Spartan Hoop and I was still able to do what I do best.

Amazing Archaeologcal Find

2007-02-01T13:18:00.000-05:00

While preparing my small but plentiful garden area for this springs' planting, I unearthed some type of skeletal remains. Shocked by my accidental find, I pain stakingly removed all the debris from around the bones and noticed they were humanoid. Concerned this may be some sort of a secret burial place for who knows what, I called an archaeologist buddy of mine at M.S.U and he immediately came over to check out my rare discovery. After hours and hours of reassembling the bones, we came to the conclusion that I had unearthed the remains of the first Eaton Rapids Police Officer dating back to the turn of the century. How did we come to this conclusion you may be asking yourself? Check out the position of the head. Even still today when you see one of Eaton Rapids finest, you'll notice their head is in the same location.

Sadness in the family

2007-01-31T11:59:00.000-05:00

I have some sad news to report. Jennifer's beloved cat Reagan passed away last night for no apparent reason. I talked to her on my way home last night and she told me that he wasn't feeling well and had been throwing up a few times and was just laying around and not being the frisky cat that he was. He was fine during the day and all of a sudden, he became ill. I told her that he just probably caught something and was a little sick, but would recover like everyone else does that is feeling ill.

When I arrived home from work, she called and he had become worse and wanted to take him to the vet and we found one that stayed open 24 hours. Eddie had taken her car to work and she didn't have one at home, so I drove over to take her to the Mag Plant to get her car. When I arrived, she came out and said that she thought Reagan was gone and under her bed. Unfortunately, she was right.

Reagan was a good cat, a little shy around people at first, but when he finally warmed up to you, he was around you constantly purring and rubbing on you the way cats do. I will truly miss him.

Things I do for lunch

2007-01-29T12:30:00.000-05:00

I'm not much of a lunch eater, but last night I thought I'd like some fish for lunch before I left for work today. I asked Deb if we had any frozen fish in the freezer and I thought she said "Only if you catch some." Since she never really jokes around, I took that remark as a truthful NO. But, once I woke up this morning, the urge for some fresh mercury laced fish was still heavily floating around in my mind and I wanted some, NOW. I donned my Carharts, grabbed some ice fishing gear that I luckily saved of my Dad's and off to a secluded back road pond I drove to catch my lunch. Thoughts of a century past, flashed through my mind and I felt like one the first pioneer's arriving to the Eaton Rapids area in the late 1800's, living off the land. Hours passed without a nibble and after a while, I couldn't feel my hands or feet any longer and my beard was frozen solid. I finally realized that I needed to look elsewhere for a meal.

I called a friend of mine, and his wife informed me that he was outside with the 'kids' having lunch and to come on over. Back to the Honda I flew and headed out to his country estate. I found my buddy as he was heading back into his home and told him about my disappointing fishing experience. He told me the 'kids' were actually still eating outside as we spoke and I could still get that frontier experience I was looking for. "Just elbow your way up to the feeding area and help yourself.", he informed me with a slight toothless grin. Well, I took one look at the 'kids', knew instantly that they weren't going to let me eat with them and decided that I would lower my standards and have a Banquet Swedish Meatball frozen meal. But, if you look closely at the box, I'm getting a free game of bowling with every meal I have.

Bon Appetite

Deb's Birthday

2007-01-28T21:05:00.000-05:00

Although we celebrated Deb's birthday today, it was actually on 1/16, but I had to work that weekend and Deb was busy helping Jennifer move into her new house. So, it was decided that if I didn't have to work this Sunday, Steph would have a birthday dinner at her home in Lansing. Well, yours truly had the weekend off and told Steph that dinner was a GO. Jennifer and Eddie and already made plans and were meeting up with Eddie's family for his son Eric's 16th birthday and couldn't attend, but a good time was had by all that attended (3), Six if you include the cats.

The birthday dinner was sort of a dual thing. A dinner for Deb and a tub to chaulk for me, which by the way, Steph said after I finished that it looked as if she did it, and criticized my workmanship. But, there were presents to open and one of Steph's great dinners to chow down on, so I let that slide.

The first gift that Deb opened was a bed tray from Steph, which will come in handy on the weekends, when I cook my 'Little Punkin's' breakfast, after I wake up around noon. Then, I believe I bought her a candle for her second gift. The third gift she opened was even more surprising to me, when I discovered that I also bought her a foot massager/heater. Thanks for picking those up for me Steph.

After having some of Steph's 'Black Forest birthday cake, the girls played some game and never bothered to ask me if I wanted to play, so I just kicked back in the recliner and took a nap. Their loss, not mine. Happy Birthday, Punkin's.

Cat Sitting

2007-01-24T13:08:00.000-05:00

For the past week we've been watching Jennifer's two cats, Jagger and Reagan while she completes getting her new place suitable for living. Don't get me wrong, they haven't been a problem at all because as soon as they see you, they take off and hide. You walk in the door, they haul ass. You walk into the family room, they haul ass. You walk upstairs, they haul ass. You rarely ever see them. Well, last night when I arrived home, I found them both, petted Jagger once before he fled and then saw Reagan lounging his furry ass on the bed in the 'Big Boy's Room'. I walked in, started to pet him and to my surprise, he just laid there and let me rub him. I told him "Hey, no one is going to hurt you, you can come downstairs and be rubbed like cats like to be rubbed." Deb had taken a nap earlier in the evening to wait up for her man (he left before I arrived) and after I showered, she informed me that she wanted to go to either Meijer or the Paush for a FEW groceries. After spending a couple of 'Benjamins' we left to come home.
After we returned home and cooked up some steaks at 2:00 a.m., Reagan decided that he was going to heed my words and came downstairs to join us. He was rubbed, petted and patted and loved it. Around 3:00 a.m. we decided to go to bed and Reagan walked upstairs, hopped in our bed and walked around us for about 10 minutes before I shut him out. Well, all night long, he sat at the bedroom door meowing about every #$%^&*-ing thirty seconds. I turned up the television, fell asleep to it and I woke up to it. It drove me $%^&*-ing crazy. But, I was happy at least one of them finally felt safe enough in our home to allow Deb and I to rub him and love him up. But, our new found trust isn't lasting long because they head back to their new home today.

It's been funny to see History inner act with them though. He guards 'His' toys, he'll chase them off the back of 'His' chair and gives them some weird cat stare to let them know that they are only visiting, not staying in 'His' house. He must know that they are inside cats longing to get out, because he'll stand by the door in the dining room, turn his head back and give them some look that only cats can understand like, "Hey, I'm heading outside to play, you want to come with me? "NOT!"

Be Careful What You Wish For

2007-01-20T10:52:00.000-05:00

In my last post, I mentioned how ecstatic I was about being off this weekend, lounging around, watching 'The Games' on the tube while I munched my favorite snacks and just plain kick my old ass back and enjoy the weekend as a weekend should be enjoyed. I also foolishly said that I could probably handle 'one' day of overtime this weekend. WELL GUESS WHAT? On my way into work on Friday, my cell phone rang and it was another driver telling me that he wouldn't be into work today because his Grandma just passed away. He asked me to tell our boss a couple of things for him. I gave him my condolences, gave the boss the message and was instantly told that I have been scheduled to work Saturday in this guy's place and also possibly Sunday as well. In just a matter of minutes I went from being extremely happy, to being overly pissed off. Not only was I going to give Jennifer and Eddie a hand moving on Saturday, but I had some well deserved kick'n back to do. Jennifer & Eddie had rented a house in town and Saturday was moving day. I told them that I couldn't lift anything heavy, but would be there to lend my 'Supervisory Skills', until I had to leave for work.

Anyway, this morning Deb and I were crashed out big time and I was awakened around 9:00 a.m. to Jennifer standing in our bedroom. She wanted to borrow the Jeep for a little more moving room. I knew I never should have given her a key. Deb got up and I went back to bed, going over to the new place after a couple more hours sleep. I took my camera with me to take a picture of Jennifer and Eddie's new digs. I think with a little outside work, it could be quite cute.

Now the big news. I'm off tomorrow and it's GAME DAY. What to watch first, football or golf? Golf or football? Wait, I have picture in picture, so I can catch it all at the same time. I guess I'll just have to see how the afternoon plays out. All I know is, I'm not doing sheeeeeeeeeeet.

Great picture taking weather

2007-01-18T13:34:00.000-05:00

When I was a youngster growing up in the 'Hood' not many years ago, I used to love this time a year. My buddies and I would meet at Ellis Park first thing Saturday and Sunday morning dressed in our hockey attire, don our skates and skate out on the ice rink that was made by opening up a fire hydrant and flooding the lowest part of the park. We played for hours. We didn't have a Zamboni to clear the ice after each period, but we had shovels and cleared it off ourselves so we could continue to play and we'd play until dark. Two empty coffee cans or pieces of wood for the goal posts. The good old days. But, now that I'm older, I can't skate like I used to and the only hockey I want to play now is on the Nintendo, or watching the Wings at the Joe or on the tube. I took a few pics the other day and have come up with what I think are some great wintry shots. During the recent ice storm, I thought a view of our country road, trees laden with ice and the sun shinning down the road would make a nice picture. I could be wrong, but it looked good to me and that's all that matters. If we lived in Australia, I'd tell ya to "Piss Off'. Then I discovered an abandoned bird house that someone attached to a tree in front of our house which looked pretty cool, so I took a picture of that too. The pictures look better full size than little like they are here.

I found out today that I don't have to work this weekend and I'm really happy about that. Although, I could probably handle one day. That would have been a few more 'plates' taken care of. But, you know how much I enjoy working. I think I'll make a list of things I need to do and a list of things I want to do and see which list wins out. Looks like it's going to be a kick back do nothing expect what Debbie tells me I have to do, type weekend.

Is everyone off this weekend but ME?

2007-01-14T13:38:00.000-05:00

As I sit here watching 'Da Bears' play Seattle, I realize that I have to leave for work in about 30 minutes. I can't even watch the entire game, but 'Da Bears' are up 14-0 at the start of the second period. Deb said she was going to drive me which will be fine, but she will not be happy when she has to leave our warm house to pick my old ass back up at 11:00 p.m. But, that's really the only time I get to see her. She's off tomorrow for M.L.K. day, and I have therapy tomorrow morning at 8:00 a.m. and have to get up early for that and will be going right back to bed when I get home around 9:00 a.m. What a life I lead.
This is my work attire since I'm both inside and outside of the plant all night long. All the other drivers are off this weekend, but me. Hardly anything is running, but I have to be there to move the parts around. When I arrived at work, I walked into the plant and noticed there wasn't room to put another rack of parts, but they were still pushing them out like a woman pushing out kids on welfare, and barely enough room to drive a forklift around. I don't like working weekends, but have convinced myself that by working Saturday and Sunday, it will pay for eight non-relatives at Jennifer and Eddie's upcoming nuptials, maybe. That's a lot of weekends I'm going to have to work to cover this. There goes my hot tub again this year.

But, the brightest thing of my night will be coming home to my 'Little Punkin's' (if she'd waited up) and maybe getting a hug and a kiss from her. But, since she won't be, I guess it's just me and my boy, History-History Hall, the bravest cat of all. He won't dessert his Dad.

So, my parting words to all of you is, "Fork It".

Short and sweet

2007-01-12T00:54:00.000-05:00

Sure is lonely now that I'm on afternoons. I don't see anyone all day and when I come home from work, the house is empty with the exception of someone sleeping upstairs, snoring so loudly that I can hear it down stairs. Deb tried to stay up, but couldn't, or so she says. I told her that she didn't need to be up when I came home, she was up at 5:15 a.m. this morning getting ready for a meeting. Funny there were no early meetings before until Randy, her principle, became divorced. Sheeeeeeet, why get up early for a 'little', when I'm on afternoons and not around during the evening anyway. She can just tell me she had to stay over a little later, for a 'one on one' or wouldn't even have to tell me at all. How would I know?

Discovering the above wouldn't cause me to go running out to Abie's to drown my sorrows. I haven't woke up with a hangover in years and I'm liking it. It's nice waking up in the mornings and still having the same amount of money in your pocket that you left with earlier and wondering why you bought a round of drinks for people you don't even really know. Not that I've ever done that. No, I wouldn't pour ice cold, great tasting, and extremely refreshing Budweiser down my gullet, bottle after bottle. Hell No!

I love afternoons

2007-01-09T01:26:00.000-05:00

Afternoons really suck. At 4p.m., I was sitting on my forklift thinking back to only a few short months ago when at that precise moment in time, I'd be in my little cubicle of life, shutting down my computer and going home to the 'Little Woman'. Once home and unwound, I'd either work in the yard, go out play a quick nine or whatever the hell I wanted to do, because the sun was still shinning. Now, I can't do really anything. Actually, I can still golf or kayak a portion of the Grand River, but it's not the same. This is funny, the first time I kayaked the Grand River, I went from Smithville Damn into town. Thought it might take me an hour and a half or so, took me 45 minutes and fifteen minutes of that I was B.S.ing with a guy in a canoe. Debbie dropped me off, had just walked into Mona's and I called her to pick me up. Anyway, I can still do all of the things I like to do, but as soon as I'm finished, I have to go into work. No going home, kicking back and going to bed. I have to go work. But, I'm still sitting on my ass and I haven't one ounce of stress and that's what it's all about, isn't it.

One thing I'm going to miss being on afternoons is sitting on my deck in the evening, watching and photographing the deer and the wild turkeys walk across the field. When we bought the house, I envisioned a great looking deck on the back, with an unrestricted view of the horseshoe pits. I built a small deck off the family room which wasn't that big a job and was good enough for who it was for. But, I wanted two more adjoining decks as well.

I knew exactly what I wanted and could picture it in my mind. It consumed every waking moment. I went out and bought several books on deck construction, looked at friends decks to see their design and construction and made numberous phone calls for lumber prices. Yep, I was going to do it myself. All I had to do was wait until spring and then, Jim, 'The Toolman' Hall was going to be getting into some major construction.

Spring was finally in the air and it was time. One Saturday morning, I sat down at the computer, had a list of what materials I needed in front of me and a price calulator. It was time to add up the damage and see what this baby was going to cost me and how much I'd save by doing it myself. I was pleased. Then reality set in. The first thought that came to my head was, "Do I really want to trust my construction abilities enough to let my family and friends gather on something I built that is roughly six feet above the ground? Hell No!

I started making calls instantly and of course, I waited to late in the year and every carpenter in the Tri County Area was busy. Finally, in late October with some snow flurries in the air my deck was finished by a professional. I finally had my deck, it was safe to stand on. Oh, I also got to sit on it twice before the first snow fall of the year and I had to put my chairs away. But, the one good thing about all of this is, it's safe for more than one person and has turned into a great party deck as well. Now I just have to go out and find some friends to party on it with.

Kickin back watching the playoffs

2007-01-07T17:24:00.000-05:00

What could be better on a chilly weekend in January than kicking back with your favorite snacks, drinking a little Red Rose and watching the football playoffs? I can think of a few things, but since that isn't going to be happening, I can think of nothing else I'd rather be doing. For those of you who haven't been over to my home, I have a computer room just off the family room, a nice little spot that now has everything a guy could ask for to make his life complete. Unfortunately, the only drawback was I couldn't see the television in the family room from there and would always have to roll my desk chair out to catch a replay. Not anymore.

For Christmas, Deb bought me a nice 20" flat screen that fits perfectly in there and now I MISS NOTHING. In fact, she also bought me a DVD player so I could watch some movies of my choice. I was thinking though, did she do this because she loved me, or was it because she didn't want me using the new laptop, sitting with her and watching sports? Actually, it really doesn't matter because I enjoy being in my space. Now I just need a little fridge in there and life would be good, but I don't see that happening. Maybe if I tell her she'd never have to see me until bedtime, I may get one sooner than I think. I'll keep you posted with a post if that's the proper word for it.

Anyway, after the game, Punkin's and I went to Meijer and I happened upon a ceramic beer can turkey holder. Just the like a beer can chicken holder, but being ceramic you can pour a varity of things in it to flavor the turkey. You just add what you want (tonight we're using BBQ sauce, honey and chicken broth) I'll let you know how it turned out. Deb just told me that Steph, Tori maybe Casey were on their way over and also, Jennifer and Eddie wanted to come over and try out the bird. Sheeeeeet, there goes the turkey sandwiches for my lunches. Speaking of food, I wanted to thank Joe again for the great time I had at the Nuthouse for the Rose Bowl. Even though U of M wasn't the victor, the steaks grilled to perfection were the real winners that day. Do I want to be invited back or what???? One of the best cooks I know. Well, the tribe is over so guess I'd better get up there and secure a plate. I'll let you know how the bird turned out.

Our dinner was great and the turkey came out tender and moist. Steph and Tori didn't stay because Steph has turned vegetarian and I guess Tori wasn't hungry. And, I didn't need to worry about sandwiches because there was enough left over. I'll have to ask Deb if this was anymore work than actually roasting a turkey, but it didn't look that bad to me. I can't be sure because I was sitting on my ass watchng the game, but I didn't hear her complaining.

Reporting-ly,

J.E.

So many things to do and no time to do them

2007-01-06T23:39:00.000-05:00

First off, I kind of given up on my page layout. I've played with it, looked at it and even swore at it, and I can't figure out how to change the page color. I'm going to try and put in a picture or two, but if you don't see one, I couldn't do that either.

Being on afternoons has given me zero time to do what I enjoy doing most, kicking back. After almost seven months off work, I've become, how could I say this, almost lazier than Debbie claims I am. Could I help it if my back was aching like a MoFo for six of the seven months I was off work? In fact, she told me that I never listen to what the doctors say. And, when I finally take my doctor's advice when he said "Jim, I can't emphasize enough when I say I want you to just relax, chill out and don't do anything that may put a strain on your back.", she get's mad. I thought taking the guy's advice was what she wanted me to do? Granted, I didn't do much during that time, but remember I was hurting big time. What she doesn't understand is, whatever I WAS able to do, I did it in severe pain for her sake. Can she even slightly comprehend how much pain I was in when I kayaked down the Grand River? Don't think so.

How can she even possibly fathom how badly I hurt, after hitting a 5 wood 220 yards to within three feet of the pin at Bay Harbor C.C., along the rocky shores of Lake Michigan, when I couldn't get out of going up north on my Annual Four Day Golf and Party Weekend, with my Detroit grade school buddies. Lord knows how hard I tried to get out of going. She hasn't a clue of how much pain I was in when C.R.-P.I., SanFo, Baloo, P-Daddy, Glove's and myself played a game of 3 on 3 touch football in the street like we did when we were kids growing up in Detroit. No clue what so ever. But did I complain? Hell No! I sucked it up like any man would do in front of his friends and I PLAYED THE GAME.

Finally, now that I'm feeling better and ready to jump right back in and start catching up on the things that I had to put off, due to my injury, I DON'T HAVE THE TIME. By the time I get up, have something to eat, check and respond to emails, read the paper and then watch Days of Our Lives, I have to make my lunch and start to get ready to go to work. I honestly don't know where the time goes once I get up around 11:00 a.m. But all and all, Life is good.

Trying to change the page setup

2007-01-04T00:34:00.000-05:00

It's 12:45 a.m., and I just had some leftover steak. When I talk leftovers, I mean just that. I ate what was left over on Debbie's plate. No potato. No veggies. Just steak. She said that she'd cook for me, but she gave me the 'Doyleen' look and I knew instantly, that wasn't happening. Lucky for me, there was something left at all. After I finished the last bite, she looked up from the couch and said "You know, that was going to be your lunch for work tomorrow. Guess you'll just have to take a PB&J. Actually, that's better than what they have in the 'Wheel of Death' at work. The Wheel of Death is the vending machine. High priced and everything sucks. I had an egg salad sandwich from there, went back to my desk (when I had one) and puked. Some nasty sheeeeet.

I've been noticing the pages on other bogs covers and I need to do a little something with mine. I actually haven't had the time to try anything, but if my cover looks different than my two previous entries, I've succeeded. Time to kick back until tomorrow.

Working afternoons

2007-01-03T11:16:00.000-05:00

Now that I'm on the 'Afternoon' shift, my body is still trying to figure out when to go to bed and when to get up. It's been hard, so to speak, with Debbie still being on 'Christmas Vacation' this week trying to work out a schedule for myself. Once she goes back to teaching 'Jackson's Finest' I should be OK.

When I arrived home last night, she had a huge meal prepared for me and asked "Is is too early for you to eat?" Well, I guess not since it was completely done and on plates. I really wasn't ready to sit down for a nice meal two minutes after I walked in the door, but like the good husband I am, we had dinner together at 11:30 p.m. and then she announced that she was heading up to bed, leaving me wide awake to unwind in the comfort of my living room or family room, which ever I chose to unwind in.

"What do I now?", I thought to myself as I set there alone. It's too dark and cold to go outside and do something. So, I kicked on the t.v. and what do you know, it was still James Bond week. Once I watched Octopussy for the 212th time in my life, I decided to go to bed. I quietly walked into the room, had the remote in my hand to switch channels as she slept and out of the blue she said "You not going to turn on that damn James Bond again are you?" So, I kept it on news channel that she fell asleep to earlier and once she fell back asleep, I turned the channel back to Bond and fell instantly asleep. I did wake up prior to her and quickly turned back on the news, fell back asleep and she wasn't the wiser.

Tonight, once home and unwound, I will work on the layout of the Blog page for a little more content and picture adding. One more thing. I hate afternoons.

My First Blog at age 58

2007-01-02T12:12:00.000-05:00

Ok, I've finally been talked into creating my own blog page. I don't know if I'll be posting on a daily basis, but will try and fill your day with my crazy thoughts about life, leisure and the pursuit of my happiness, or in other words, 'What makes Jimmy run'.

News about family/friends will be included. Pictures of ME will be featured doing strange things to keep you coming back to MY PAGE. Pictures of Debbie, History (my cat) and of my friends will be featured. So the term "Careful for what you wish for" has now come true for YOU.

Be scared people, be very scared - B.S. from J.E. is now a reality.