Debbie's latest cleaning job

On 7/14/07, Debbie and I celebrated our 34th wedding anniversary and it's no secret how much I love her. From the first day I saw her standing on that lonesome street corner in Detroit waiting for her next trick to drive by, I knew that was the woman for me. She has been not only a loving wife for 34 years, but also my constant companion and best friend. She nurses me back to health when I'm sick, and is just one hell of a wonderful woman. She has a good head on her shoulders and never once has she been afraid to put me in my place if she thought I needed it. Apparently, that alone is a full time job.

Most or all of you know what a stickler Debbie is for a clean house. Hell, a clean anything for that matter. She even goes into the basement once or twice a year with the vacuum and sucks up non-existent cob webs from the corners and ceiling. But now, she's taken this cleaning sickness a bit too far and I have to say something about it.

For Christmas last year, we decided to buy ourselves a laptop computer. We have other computers, but a nice laptop for the upstairs was a nice present for the both of us. Over the months, she has turned into quite a computer person. She even knows how to pay bills online, something she never did before. I've actually become quite proud of my little I.T. wife. Actually, it's becoming quite hard to use 'Her' computer anymore and I find myself using the desk top in the dungeon more and more. The other day, I was out in the yard finishing up some work and as I was walking back through the garage into the house, I noticed her at the side of the trash can, rummaging through a vacuum bag. Curious as to what she was doing, I walked over and asked. She turned around and said, "You need to go in right now and call Gateway. They sold us an inferior computer."

"How so?" I inquired.

"Well, I was vacuuming the couch cushions when I noticed that you must have left the lid up on the laptop and I saw a small crumb. I started to suck up the crumb with the vacuum hose when the 'G' key pulled right out of the keyboard and was sucked down the hose. That's why I'm out here."

Now, you all know that if I ever did something like that, she would be on my ass 24/7 until I drove somewhere and purchased a 'G' key. But, since 'Little Miss Clean' did it, it's not that big of a deal. So, until I can get to a Gateway Outlet, I have to make sure that I hit the 'G' key when a 'g' is in the word. But, you gotta love the woman. At least I can walk into my basement, knowing that I'm safe from spiders attacking me from ceiling.

A Relaxing Four Days 'Up Norf

The Fourth of July, Deb and I sat on our deck watching the fireworks that were going off five miles away at the Miller Complex in town. Sipping our favorite drinks, discussing what time in the morning we'd start our four day adventure and the main topic of conversation, how many suitcases Deb would be bringing. It wouldn't have been a problem about the amount of luggage she thinks we need, but since we can't seem to stop the wind noise the straps make holding the kayak down on the top of the Jeep it now rides inside of the Jeep. We've tried everything, twisting the damn straps, putting padding under the bow and stern, EVERYTHING WE COULD THINK OF, but the noise was so bad, people passing us would look over, laugh and cover their ears. What made it even worse was that I fell asleep on the way home despite the noise the last time we took the kayak to the river, and that made Deb CRAZY. So, until a metal rack for the roof is located and we're guaranteed no noise will be heard, the kayak goes in the back.

Thursday-7/5/07 Day One: Steve and Stacey were also going to Mark and Libby's cabin on the Manistee River, so it was only natural that our first stop be Cadillac. We hadn't been there more than five minutes before Debbie and Stacey had a drink in hand, leaving me, bad back and all to unload the Jeep. Thank goodness I arranged the car and knew what was going in on 'Day One'. Steve and the girls arrived and we partied until Deb told me it was time to go to bed.

Friday - 7/6/07 Day Two:

Steve wanted to take his boat out in the morning and when I awoke around ninish, he had the boat ready to go and was waiting for me, a first. After a quick fill up of gas, we arrived at Lake Cadillac and Steve put the boat in the water for the first time this calender year. I stood on the dock as Purr began to prime the 125 hp power house that propels his 17 1/2 foot Four Winds to neck break speeds and turn the key. Something was wrong, it didn't sound right. He tried again and decided to throw a charge to it. Again, nothing. What to do? Think damn it, Think. After a few minutes, Steve returned with the car/trailer and we headed to the battery shop for a new battery ($70). With the boat back in the water, we enjoyed about an hour of boating until the engine suddenly slowed down and we turned around once more and headed in. Headed in that is to O'Neal's Service to get the engine checked out. Once Mr. O'Neal greeted Steve with a hearty handshake and smile, he said it may be the oil pump and the engine would have to be pulled to check it out. Steve mumbled something about raising his clients fees to pay this guy, but at least the boat would be fixed. We were on our way back home, Steve feeling a little better after a rough morning and saying "What the Fock else can happen to me today?" when he received a call that Jamie was in a little fender bender in downtown Cadillac. Off to the scene of the accident we drove. Nothing much happened, Jamie backed into a truck and no one was injured. Well, I guess if you call Steve somewhat losing his mind, injured. After numerous lectures about drivers safety, we headed to Fife Lake, Michigan and the Manistee River to hook up with Mark and Libby for a little partying and 'ca-brewing'.

Day two will continue tomorrow,

I'm tired.

Kick'n Back - The J.E. Way

OK, the four people that read this shiiiiiit know that I've been off work for the couple of weeks due to my back. I've been bent over so far with pain, that if my shoe laces became untied I could tie them on the run and never miss a step. Deb knew that I was in pain, but she didn't know how much pain I was actually in, until I told her I cancelled my annual golf outing and BBQ that I host for my Parkman Brothers because of it.

Last week, my doctor prescribed Flexeril and believe it or not, my pain is GONE. I can't tell you how great it feels to get up in the morning and not make a hundred different weird ass moaning sounds trying to get out of bed. I don't know if that little miracle pill was the answer, but I'm finally feeling great after suffering for months. My doctor, an ex Chicago Bear wide receiver, insisted that I stay off work, and do nothing but rest. That's great advice if you've got a shiiit load of money, but the grass doesn't stop growing and the bills don't stop coming because I'm hurting. My darling Debbie, bless her heart, said that she would hop on the tractor and mow the yard for me. Bullshiiiiiit! You all know what a stickler I am about my yard and remembering how it looked the one and only time she mowed it sent shivers down my now healing spine. Besides, other chores have to taken care of. Maybe with the doctor's money, he can have his chores taken care of by others, but not me. The outside work continues, but I did take his advice and have rested my back as much as possible along with doing my daily exercises.

The Mag Plant is very attendance crazy and isn't very compassionate when someone takes time off for being ill. With these two weeks off, along with the six months last year with my back, I didn't think I would be in the running for 'Employee of the Year'. I received a call from the H.R. Department telling me that I was 'Invited' to a meeting to discuss my absenteeism last Thursday. Lately they've been on a firing spree and I knew in the back of my mind that I would be standing in line at the Unemployment Office on Monday morning with the rest of the aging losers. At 10:00 a.m. I walked into the Director's Office and two other big shots were there waiting, I thought to crucify me as well. In my mind, they've already dug the hole and were waiting for me to fall in. After forty five minutes of talking, I was told that I was no longer on Afternoons, but would be working Days starting Monday morning. They said that they wanted to make sure that I had a position that required hardly any strain on my back. I smiled all the way out to the car, realizing that I had dodged a bullet.

Debbie was so happy that once again we can be a family, with both of us working normal daylight hours and have the evenings to spend together (she must have been drinking). All I can say is I'm glad I'm still employed, working days and able to get a good nights sleep once again. So what's the first thing I'm going to do on Monday morning when I show up for my new position? Hunt down a friend of mine who is always looking a sub to golf with him at Duck Lake Country Club and play golf for free.

Can life get any better?

Blogging-ly,

J.E.

How I Spent My Memorial Day Long Weekend

Being on the 'No Life Shift', I cherish my time off and was especially looking forward to maybe having three days away from The Mag Plant From Hell. I never know if I'm working the weekend until the last minute on Friday and I no longer make plans. On Wednesday however when the O.T. is posted, only one cell was running and one assembly station, so having three days off was a sure thing. On Friday, they, the powers that be, added four more machines and two more assembly areas to work on Saturday. Now I haven't had to work a weekend or even one day of a weekend in some time, because someone else was always nailed. But with the added machines, I knew that I would be called upon to 'move the dashboards', it was just meant to be. All afternoon Friday, I stayed clear of the supervisor. On a couple of occasions I could see him glancing at me out of the corner of my eye and immediately headed in the other direction. At 10:50 p.m. and not yet having been approached, I headed to the Shipping Office and hid in their bathroom (baff-room if you live in the inner city or can't speak the King's English). Not a very professional thing to do, but hey, I'm not a professional kind of guy. I washed up and was swiping my time card at precisely 11:00 p.m. Eastern Standard Time and I was GONE and looking forward to three days of relaxation.

Saturday it rained and you know, it didn't bother to me. I was so tired from dodging my boss all night Friday, that I was totally exhausted and just kicked back the entire day, napping, eating and napping. And you know what? Deb didn't give me any shiiiiiit because she was doing the exact same thing. I thought we were going to go out with Joe and Mona for dinner, but apparently they were still busy hauling furniture for Cat. So Deb made a garlic noodle and crab with a 'K' dish and we stayed home and rested some more. Doing nothing for some reason really tired me out.

Sunday, I awoke around 1100 hours and kicked on my favorite TV channel next to Starz, The Golf Channel and ESPN, and watched a landscaping show. Deb was heading over to Jennifer's and they were going out to pick up some material to make curtains, so I decided to go out and start power washing the upper deck. What a mistake that was. It took me almost 6 hours of non-stop work to finish up. Either I'm really particular about my deck or it was really dirty with flying dirt particles from the corn field next to and behind me. Deb came home with lunch and it was back to the deck. After a shopping trip to Charlotte later that evening and dinner, we headed home to watch a movie.

MONDAY - MY LAST DAY OF REST AND RELAXATION. After all, I am a veteran and today is my day, but it was not to be. I thought since it was suppose to be a nice day out, that I'd call up my good buddy Joe and see if he wanted to go out and play a quick nine, but it was not to be. Before I could even tell her my plans for the day, I was informed that the sun was shinning, the dew on the lawn would be gone by the time we returned from the Flower Garden and ready for me to get on my mower and ride. I turned around to see if someone were behind me, because I knew she sure the hell wasn't talking to me. After a trip to the flower shop, gas station and then Felpausch for some steaks for me to grill later, we were back home and my last day of relaxation was over. I had three days of work to do in one. While Deb planted flowers, I mowed, weed whipped, edged 110' of driveway (actually 220' because I had to go back the other way), planted 28 tomato plants, cleaned out the shed and power washed some of my stuff, she finally said "I turned the oven on for some pasty's for lunch. When lunch is ready, bring mine up to me, I'll be in our bedroom resting." After lunch and a little nap, it was right back out there to throw some wood chips around. We finished up in time to take a shower, throw the steaks on the grill, eat and think about going to bed. Both Deb and I worked really hard today, but I heard her say as she headed up stairs "Don't worry about cleaning up the dinner dishes, you can do it tomorrow before you go to work." So how am I finishing up my three days off? I'm in the dungeon watching 'Jaw's II' of a 'Jaws' marathon and eating watermelon.

Memorial Day-ingly,

J.E.

How To Spot An Eaton Rapids Hunter With a DUI

Wassup? To the four people that read this shiiiiiiit. I was thinking last year during hunting season, that when I was a kid growing up in Detroit during that time of year, not that many years ago, you'd see tons of cars with dead deer strapped to the roof. I haven't seen that as much since leaving the DDDDDDD-troit area 35 years ago. Being young, I was amazed when someone would stop next to my Dad's car with a carcass lashed to it and it's head flipping from side to side on the drivers windshield. Maybe it wasn't as stylish back then to own a pick-up as it is today and just throw the damn thing in the back.

Living here in good ole Eaton Rapids, I don't think I've ever seen anyone driving up or down Main Street with a deer anywhere in sight. Maybe E.R. people don't hunt. Then I started to wonder how a person that was unfortunate enough to have his license suspended for having indulged in one to many, in a one horse, can't do a damn thing, town and also hunted, would get his or her 'kill' back to their digs.

Well, that question was answered to me soon afterwards, when I spotted one of E.R.'s unfortunate residents who bagged his Bambi on opening day, pedaling his ass down Main Street just after leaving Abies Bar. Gotta love this Ho Dunk town. Nothing stops a man on Opening Day or when the golf courses open up.