Please Help

I don't usually do this, but I felt the need to share this with my fellow bloggers. Although Deb and I no longer have a dog, I know that some of my loyal readers own Chihuahuas and because of that, this story really hit home.

I know most of you are dog lovers and will help this poor woman. Our neighbor has lost her Chihuahua and is desperate to find him. She does a lot of traveling and always takes her dog Max with her. Yesterday, she was sitting on the couch watching TV and she called for Max, but he didn't heed her command as usual. She continually called out for her puppy and then noticed the back door was open. Max is 3 yrs old and an inside dog and she is frantic. She has been putting up signs everywhere around the Eaton Rapids and Charlotte area in hopes that someone would spot the little fellow. If you see this dog, please let me know and I will notify her immediately. Your help would be greatly appreciated.

"Jim, Build This For Me, TODAY!"

"Jim, I saw a cool wall hanging in a magazine and decided I want you to make it for me. It's a mirrored window flower box made out of wood, and I want to hang it on the family room wall?" I heard Deb say as I was kick'n back in my recliner, sipping my favorite beverage, munching on snacks and watching a little golf. "You know" I retorted, "I'd love to do that for you Sweetheart, but as you can see, I'm sitting here in a shiiiiiiiit load of pain. That's why you bought me a magnetic wrap around heated back brace isn't it, to sit here and relax? Haven't you noticed I've been hunched over like an 80 year old man, or do you think I've just looking for something I dropped for the past eight months? And besides, I don't have the wood necessary to build a project of that magnitude." "Sure you do." she said, "And besides, you've rested long enough."

"I went into the basement," she continued, "and up in the supports there was wood enough to build a shed. So, I took the liberty of taking some different sizes down and laying them on your tool bench. I believe you have enough material there to build what I want, and I've even drawn up a rough sketch for you to go by. It will give you something to do to take you mind off all the pain you claim you're having. By the way, I'm not feeling well, so I'm going upstairs to take a nap. I also took some paint out and want you to paint it the same color as you did on the lower family room wall. Oh yeah by the way, don't wake me and Good Luck."

I walked down to the basement and surer than hell, there's different types of wood lying on my tool bench along with a drawing that looked like chicken scratching that resembled a window. No measurements, just a drawing a 2 yr. old would do. There were some 2x4's, a couple of 1x6's, a small piece of plywood, and some oak molding I used for the upstairs bathroom four years ago. Apparently, she thought I would be able to put all these different size pieces into a box, say some magic words, and Waa La, wood for a window frame would miraculously appear. After studying her dimensionless 'sketch', I went into the garage, found some lumber I was going to use for something else, and 'The Project' was a go. First the frame, then the mirror and finally the flower box portion. My creation, or I should say hers, was taking shape and looking pretty close to her meaningless doodling.

Finally, after a few hours, her scribbling was starting to become a reality and wasn't looking bad, even if I have to say so myself. It's been a couple of years since I've done any woodworking and I was somewhat apprehensive about starting this project, but glad I did. I still have to do a couple of small details to finish up, but it will be completed by tomorrow. If I didn't need her help putting it up on the wall, I'd surprise her with it, but you know Deb. She'll be there as usual to supervise and I welcome it (sometimes). But, why should she care, she never goes into the family room anyway and lovingly calls it the Dungeon. So now you're probably asking yourselves, "What's the next 'Project' J.E. will be doing, now that he is back in the crafts game?" Well, a wrap around tree bench by the horseshoe pits for one, a deck and French doors off our upstairs bedroom, a flowerbox/fountain on the middle deck where the hot tub is scheduled to go. But as you and I both know, it will be WHATEVER THE HELL DEB TELLS ME. I'll be sure and add a pic of the completed project to my next post, when it's up on the wall of the Dungeon, filled and flowing with foilage.

Just to be on the safe side though when you come over, I wouldn't sit underneath it, JUST IN CASE.

Can't Seem To Get Away

One thing I want to do is get the hell away from Eaton Rapids, if only for the day. These afternoons are kicking my ass and even though I'm off this weekend, I thought a little trip down the Grand River, away from E.R. town would be just what the doctor ordered. With the kayak shoved through the sunroof of the Honda, I set sail, or I should say Kayak, on a chilly wintry day. I was looking forward to viewing all the wonderful sites along the banks of the seldom used Grand River and getting away from the only Eaton Rapids On Earth if only for a few hours.

Years ago, 'The Mighty Grand' as it was known to the local inhabitants, was the only means other than horseback, to get to the quaint little town of Eaton Rapids. Traveling back in time, you'd see Indians and settlers alike sitting along the banks of the Grand, smoking the 'peace pipe' and drinking 'Fire Water', something the locals still do today, minus the Indians of course, unless they're from Cleveland.

I paddled for what seemed like hours without seeing a living sole, with the exception of an occasional bird and the splash of a carp. As I maneuvered my yellow craft around boulders and fallen trees, enjoying the solidute of the day, something caught me eye. My first thought was deer, coming out of the woods to drink at the waters edge, but then I heard a sound I thought I recognized, a truck. Beaching my craft, I walked the snow covered banks to the plateau above hoping that I was wrong and then realizing I wasn't.

I never left town.

Waking The Sleeping Monster

What a peaceful, restful weekend I had until this morning around 6:00 a.m. We went to bed early last night and like most Monday's, Deb had one of her 'Early Morning Meetings' and had set the alarm for a 5:15 a.m. wake up call.

We have a ritual here at the 'House of Hall'. Every morning when Deb's alarm goes off, I immediately roll over on her side of the bed, History comes in, cuddles under my chin and we both fall back asleep until I wake up later in the morning to start my day.

But this morning was a little different.......

As usual, the alarm went off, History came in and we fell back asleep, but this morning we were awaken to the sound of Debbie screaming "DAMN-IT JIM! GET DOWN HERE, NOW." Concerned that maybe something was wrong with her car, I came down stairs and she was standing in the kitchen next to the door leading into the garage. "What's the matter?" I asked, still sleepy eyed. "The 'Monster', she said, is sleeping in History's basket and I'm afraid to go into the garage." She cracked the door open a little, and if History weren't standing next to me at the time, I would have sworn it was him in there. The 'Monster' was curled up and crashed out in History's sleeping basket we keep for him on the landing in the garage, in case we're gone and he is out on the prowl.

"Kill It!" she screamed, as I re-opened the door and looked at it sleeping peacefully. "With What? Can't you see I'm standing here in my boxers. Being the protective husband I am, I left, returning moments later with my camera. "I wanted you to get a gun, not your camera." Are you planning on taking pictures of it until it dies of old age?" The only weapon available to me at that moment in time was a broom handle, and I immediately whacked it on top of the head to get it's attention. The 'Monster' looked up at me, nonchalantly stretched and slowly made its way off the landing, crawling under a table we have in there, while knocking things over as it made a slow retreat.

"What are you going to do NOW?" I heard her yell as she bolted for her car at the speed of light, and avoiding eye contact with the beast.......

Baby, It's COLD Inside

"You're going to be quite cold today." I heard Deb say as she was drying off from taking her shower this morning. "What the hell are you talking about? Do you think I'm too stupid to turn the heat up when I get up? Please turn down the heat before you leave, shut both doors to the bedroom so History doesn't come in and I'll call you tonight." "I'll shut the doors, she said, "but it won't matter if you turn it up or not, because YOU FORGOT TO CHECK THE PROPANE LEVEL IN THE TANK LIKE I ASKED YOU TO DO TWO WEEKS AGO AND I BELIEVE WE'RE OUT."

So, after going to sleep around 4:00 a.m., I was up at 6:30 a.m. dressed in my warmest attire and outside in the freezing weather checking the propane level which indeed turned out to be ZERO. Promptly at 7:00 a.m., I was on the phone with the propane people setting up a fill for today. Not really a big deal, but there is a five day fill period. But to get gas TODAY, I have to pay an extra $159.00. I believe they refer to that as an 'Asshole Charge'. No need to argue with them, they have you by the short and curlies, just suck it up, call yourself an A-Hole and make the best of a bad situation. But, as I sit here in sweat pants, sweat shirt, wool cap and wrapped up in my MSU blanket, I can't help but wonder if the propane people will get here before I have to leave for work. Not because I'm cold as shiiiiiiiit, but because when Deb comes home, she won't have any heat either until the pilot on the furnace is re-lite and also the hot water tank. Talk about a role reversal. She'll be the one bundled up and I'll be the one in a warm building. But, she's a survivor and can handle it until I get home tonight and then we'll heat the house up and then promptly turn the heat down to go to sleep. I love living in the country, except for the propane. So, now I was smart enough to put reminders on my computer calendar to send me email alerts EVERY TWO WEEKS TO CHECK THE PROPANE LEVEL. It won't need checking for a couple of months, but burn me once, shame on me, burn me three times (yeah, it's happened three times before) shame on me again.

Well, it's now 2:10, they haven't arrived, so I'm out of here.